Third Floor Common Room, Thursday Evening

[dollpocalypse]

It was possible that the TV thought it was funny. It was also possible that the TV didn't think at all, which was, in Topher's opinion, the more likely option.

In either case, tonight all it seemed willing to show was the critically-reviled horror trilogy My GF's A Zombie. The first movie was pretty much exactly what it sounded like, but its sequels, My Psycho Ex Is A Zombie and Is Zombie Marriage Even Legal? were... well, also exactly what they sounded like.

The first movie was playing while Topher got up to get some popcorn, providing the microwave noises with a lovely soundtrack consisting of the titular zombie girlfriend pleading with her boyfriend to take her to prom. Topher just... didn't even know.

He'd actually made no effort to turn it off or change the channel, but whether that was because he was too used to the TV not cooperating or because he actually enjoyed the movie was anybody's guess, really.

Comments

[dollpocalypse]

Topher was halfway to offering Victor some popcorn before he paused. "Wait, what?"

Topher was not going to point out your mom was dead, Victor. Yet, anyway. But he was thinking it.

[ultron_junior]

"The island decided to bring dead people back for a couple days," Victor said, since he was going to point out the thing Topher wasn't pointing out. "It's weird. She's so mom-like."

[dollpocalypse]

"It didn't bring back my dead turtle from fourth grade," Topher objected, looking a bit hurt. Way to fail, island. "Was she not mom-like before? And also, are you okay?"

Those sentences were definitely organized by a very special set of priorities there.

[ultron_junior]

"Did you want your dead turtle back?"

Victor's answer also came from a special set of priorities. "And she is a fantastic mom, always has been. And yeah, I'm fine. It's just" -- he groped at the air as if that meat something, settled on, "intense."

[dollpocalypse]

"Probably not," Topher admitted. "My parents aren't here to clean its excrement, so nah." That was charming. "So... this is awkward, but are you sure she's not... evil?"

[ultron_junior]

"Oh, no, I held the evilometer up to her and it didn't beep," Victor said sarcastically. (He'd been a little worried about it too, but he couldn't believe evil would make him soup.)

He tilted his head to see the TV, where the zombie girlfriend had started twisting off her boyfriend's fingers. "Are we actually watching a zombie movie while we have this conversation?"

[dollpocalypse]

"Oh, it's the good kind of zombie movie," Topher assured him. "The guy is trying to dump her and she's all crazy and undead and... I'm scared to try to change the channel in case we all turn black-and-white again."

[ultron_junior]

"And it's not like my mom tried to eat my brains, so the zombie thing doesn't really apply," Victor reasoned. "Seriously, she looked awesome for being dead. Like they have fancy moisturizer in Heaven."

[dollpocalypse]

"Huh." To anyone else, Topher might have made an unimpressed remark in response to the whole 'Heaven' thing, but he liked Victor a lot, so he left it alone. "So... you have a mom again, I guess. I've never heard of that happening here before. Congrats?"

[ultron_junior]

"It's only for two days," Victor said. "It's not like she's ... back, back. But thanks."

A pause. "She made me soup and asked me about my classes, you know? It's been a while."

[dollpocalypse]

"So... is that okay?" Topher wasn't sure what to make of temporarily getting a dead relative back. "Like, better to hang out with her for two days than never to... I don't remember how that thing I'm paraphrasing is actually supposed to finish."

[ultron_junior]

"Than never to have hung out at all," Victor finished. "Yeah, I .... guess? I mean, I'm basically grown-up now and I never thought she'd get to see that. I like knowing she's proud of me. Plus, she can meet Olive."

[dollpocalypse]

"You're not scared she won't like her?" Topher wanted to know. "Like, dead mom doesn't like your girlfriend, there's no way you can keep dating her."

[ultron_junior]

Topher, why are you making Victor sad like that?

"But .... why would anybody not like Olive?"

Seriously. She was Olive.

[dollpocalypse]

"The thing with the underwear?" Topher suggested. "Or the thing where she's named after produce? And she did yell at your best friend for being neuroatypical."

Topher... why?

[ultron_junior]

"She yelled at you for showing a video about the thing she's most ashamed of in her life to the whole floor," Victor said, rolling his eyes. "Also I'm not going to tell my mom about her underwear ... thing."

There were certain conversations one did not need to have with one's temporarily undead mother. That was one of them.

"And Olive's a pretty name. I like olives."

[dollpocalypse]

"I like onions better," Topher said absently. Didn't that explain a lot? "I'm just saying, in movies, people are always all nervous about introducing the people they're dating to their parents, and you have, like, eighty times as much pressure. You sure you don't want to just show her a cool electro-zappy thing and call it a day?"

[ultron_junior]

"But she didn't raise me to be awesome robot mccoolguy," Victor said. "She wanted me just to be a good person and ... okay, I'm way nervous, but I don't want to blow my one chance to make this happen."

[dollpocalypse]

"Okay, okay, so go forth, introduce them," Topher encouraged hastily. "But you should probably impose a no-stripping rule. It's the only way to know for sure."

He was teasing.

[ultron_junior]

"I will firmly encourage Olive to keep her clothes on," Victor promised. "...and then she'll hit me and it'll be your fault."

[dollpocalypse]

"I do contribute to a lot of girl-on-guy violence," Topher admitted. "My getting-punched tally is something like six or seven."