fandomhighdorms | Behind the Dorms, Thursday Morning

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Behind the Dorms, Thursday Morning

Everybody dealt with their emotional baggage in their own way. Some people accepted it. Some people ran away from it. Some people sat around and wept about it.

Dante? Dante had found a nice patch of empty ground behind the dorms, and he was punting his baggage up into the sky, then cleaving it in two with his sword. "Fuck off!" he called. "Puns should just stay punning!"

Something something abuse? The unnatural sharpness of Rebellion cut right through it. Hunted? Two slices in such rapid succession that the bag came apart in four pieces in mid-air. Don't know if I'm even--

Dante curled his arm back, bringing up the sword behind him. He focused, thinking about power, energy, shifting through his body, pouring into it-- Rebellion gave off a soft chime and it flashed white. He brought her forward at the same time as he kicked up the suitcase; a razor-sharp blade of white energy shot forward and cut it in two like it was a piece of paper.

Two more blades followed fast.

Tiny chunks of suitcase hit the grass.

"Good," Dante muttered, wiping at his cheek with his sleeve.

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And some people gathered theirs up in their arms and marched back from class with it all, determined not leave even a single piece behind. Kathy's plan had originally been to toss it all in her closet and then open the door tomorrow to see if it still existed, but as soon as she saw Dante, she was bee-lining for him.

He wouldn't let her wield Rebellion (or even touch it), but maybe she could convince him to do the hacking and slashing for her.

"Hey," she said around her armful of luggage. "Don't suppose you're up for more sword practice?"

Dante's attention turned away from the wreckage of the last piece of luggage (ANGER ISSUES) in a split second. He eyed Kathy.

"Deal with your own baggage," he said.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I don't happen to have a sword with me," Kathy snarked, giving him a look. "Not all of us can be the world's grumpiest scabbard, Dante."

"So figure out something else," Dante said, shrugging. "Your baggage is not my problem."

It worked on several levels!

Except for the part where he had frequently told her to tell her baggage to fuck off, but y'know.

"Funny, considering you had all sorts of opinions about it around Parents' Weekend," Kathy said. "Dammit, Dante, I'm not asking you to go through it with me and talk it over with tea. You already have your stupid sword out!"

She was just asking you to continue doing the same thing you were doing literally twenty seconds ago.

"Hey," Dante said, "My sword is not stupid."

And he hadn't even gotten it ou-- yeah, no, he wasn't in the mood for punning.

But suuuure, yeah, Dante was totally fine with the baggage. He always passed up dirty pun opportunities when he was at one hundred percent.

"Then why won't you use it?" she demanded, biting back her initial childish retort of Fine, then you're stupid. "It's not like I'm asking you to loan it to me!"

"I am using it," Dante retorted. "On my own crap."

Like an adult!

... like half the adults at Fandom.

Most of whom were also terrible adults. Just saying. The Ethics teacher couldn't get coffee anymore because he'd been a jerk to a barista. The mayor threw parties at her house just to get free booze. Terrible. Adults.

"And will it somehow hurt you to use it on mine, too?" Kathy asked. "Really, Dante? Is your arm going to fall off from overwork or something?"

Dante tiled his head at her, Rebellion dragging idly against the ground. "Seriously," he said, gesturing at her luggage with his chin, "You still haven't told me how that is my problem."

"It's not your problem, I was simply asking you for a favor, since it wasn't something you'd have to go out of your way to do," Kathy informed him sourly.

It wasn't your fault, Dante. Kathy was having a bad...week. Or so. Today's island antics were just harping on that.

"Don't you like cutting things up with your sword anyway?"

Sure. He just wasn't a big fan of barking on command.

"I'm not a weed-whacker," Dante said.

Which was why she'd asked, rather than, say, tossing him a bag and expecting him to chop it in two!

"No, but you are the guy with the sword." She waved her hand to indicate the vast expanse of lawn that was not terribly full of other guys with swords.

Dante's eyes darted towards the vast expanse of lawn, not so much because he needed confirmation, but to make a point.

Specifically, by looking back at Kathy with an expression that read So?

Now she was getting tempted to throw a bag at him. Or, more specifically, his head. "Because it would be very appreciated," she told him. Smiling.

"Can't buy shit for that," Dante said. Grinning.

All smiles involved this much teeth-grinding. All of them. It was totally normal.

"No, but you can get shit with it," she told him. "Enlightened self-interest?"

"What?"

Both of those words seperately, he got.

"When you do nice things for other people because you know it will benefit you," Kathy explained. "Like the idea that if you're nice to others, it will lead to them being nice to you in return. You know, the kind of thing where I show up at your door with snacks or I order pizza without olives on it so you don't have to pick them off."

Because even Kathy knew better than to try to convince Dante about the benefits of altruism.

"Okay, fair," Dante said, tilting his head, "So if I carve your baggage in half so you don't have to think about it, I get what...?"

"Okay, so you just stripped the enlightened part right out of there," Kathy said, rubbing the bridge of her nose. On the other hand, hey, she wasn't thinking about her stupid baggage right now--the metaphysical or the currently literal--so that was a bonus. "Wanting to know exactly what you're getting up front, quid pro quo, is just self-interest. The enlightened part comes from you not setting a specific price, just understanding it will be returned in the future."

"Well," Dante said, after a long pause, "That's stupid."

"Actually, it's the opposite. It's enlightened." It was in the name, Dante. The name! "Like...you do things for the benefit of others because you know that those benefits will make things better for you, too. It's how society functions. Like paying taxes because you want clean water and decent infrastructure!"

"Society functions?" Dante asked.

Dryly.

He had a point, even if he was a giant jerk.

"I'm just saying, you might think it's stupid, but it's literally why we're not a bloody anarchy right now, with roaming bands of gangs a la every post-apocalyptic movie ever." She placed her hands on her hips and huffed at him. "And it starts on a personal level, okay?"

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