3rd Floor Common Room, Monday Morning

[bookbeltof_love]

"Ohmygosh, stop it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Nina said, kicking a fruitcake away as she slid into the common room, looking around hopefully, only to realize that…

Well, it was her making breakfast this week.

The fruitcake was coming back and it had a friend with it. Nina eyed them both. "Don't even," she warned them. "Or else, like, I'll turn you into breakfast!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't think I won't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All it would take is some chop, chop, chop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

She'd never seen fruitcake look apprehensive before—then again, she'd never met killer fruitcake before either—but Nina stuck her tongue out at them and flounced over to the kitchen, ready to make parfaits, sausages and apple turnovers because if no one else was going to make breakfast, well, that was what she wanted to eat.

So there.

But, like, obviously, since it was breakfast, anyone who wanted to come by and eat was totally welcome.

[Open breakfast is open!]

Comments

[seriesofbaddecisions]

"What even are these things?" Sabine asked, kicking a fruitcake into the wall as she walked in.

[bookbeltof_love]

"I think they want to be eaten!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Nina said, kicking yet another away from her. "Like, I threatened them with becoming breakfast and they got excited once they realized I was serious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Nina was no longer planning on eating them. Nope. Anything that wanted to be eaten was super not something she wanted to ingest.

[seriesofbaddecisions]

"Well that's the most disturbing thing the island's done in a while," Sabine realized

[bookbeltof_love]

"Right?!!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Like, it was horrifying!

"Oh!!!!!!!!!!! And they're fruitcake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[seriesofbaddecisions]

"Aren't fruitcakes basically bricks? I didn't think anyone actually ate them."

Sabine's knowledge of fruitcake was not firsthand, but it was also accurate.

[bookbeltof_love]

"Well, like, a good fruitcake is basically divine," Nina said, "but, like, yeah, most of it is............... really awful and given that these fruitcakes are moving around........."

They were probably not divinely delicious.

[seriesofbaddecisions]

"I don't trust any food that might scream if I bit it," Sabine said, making a face. "Is there non-aggressive food?"

[bookbeltof_love]

"I've got apple turnovers that will be ready shortly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Nina reported. "And, like, sausages????????????????????????? Or I can make you a parfait, if you want one?????????????????"

She was just going to ignore the fruitcake that was creeping closer and closer...

[seriesofbaddecisions]

"I'm good with just that, thanks," Sabine sahd, absolutely watching the fruitcake. "I don't think I've had a turnover before."

[bookbeltof_love]

Good, she could guard while Nina cooked.

"Oh my goooooooosh, Sabine, they're so good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They're like pies, but you can hold them in your hands?????????????"

[seriesofbaddecisions]

"I mean, that sounds terrific- don't you dare!"

The fruitcake hadn't wasted much time in trying for an attack, apparently.

[bookbeltof_love]

Nina shrieked, flailed--nearly dropping the wok--and managed to step on the fruitcake rather than kick it.

"Noooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[seriesofbaddecisions]

"Okay," Sabine said, looking at the stepped-on fruitcake, "you may have to cook like that now."

[bookbeltof_love]

"But it's grooooooooss," Nina whined plaintively.

[seriesofbaddecisions]

"I know. But what if it starts up again once you let it go?"

It might anyway, who knew.

[bookbeltof_love]

"Right," Nina said grimly, making a disgusted face as she got the wok back on the burner and glared down at her foot and the fruitcake she was stepping on. "Fruitcake shoe it is then............"

[seriesofbaddecisions]

"Do you need help?" Sabine asked.

[bookbeltof_love]

"Nnnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooo," Nina said, wiggling her foot experimentally. "But, like, I think you might have to get your own drink???????????????"

She wasn't going to be able to make it over to the fridge without letting the fruitcake go.

[seriesofbaddecisions]

"Absolutely. Do you want anything?"

She was still watching the fruitcake, like she was expecting it to do something.

[lilac_eyed_lieutenant]

Tisarwat felt as thought she'd spilled more tea than she'd made this morning, what with the fruitcake constantly dive-bombing her ankles and pestering her, but, thankfully, she did have a knife now, and a very fine one, so she was able to keep them at bay at least until she made it into the kitchen.

"Someone please tell me," she said by way of her usual introduction, a little more keen on hording her tea today than sharing, "that these cakes don't expect kissing, too!"

Although she'd be far more willing to oblige with this crown than the one she'd been stuck with for the mistletoe!

[bookbeltof_love]

"No, no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They want to be eaten!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Which, like, was probably not an improvement, but...

Nina had to giggle, because seriously, this was terrible.

[lilac_eyed_lieutenant]

Tisarwat blinked, cultivating thousands of years of memories for a moment.

"...do they even taste good?" she had to wonder.

Because she wasn't sure she'd care to find out personally. She had issues with food that had been touched by just bare hands; you'd better believe she'd have issues with food that was jumping around on the floor and thwacking people.

Which one did to her shin just now, and she felt that answered her question, because no cake that could hurt that much with just a thwack could possibly taste good.

[bookbeltof_love]

"I, like, haven't tried one to see," she admitted, "and, even for non-sentient fruitcake, most of it is terrible..............."