Third Floor Common Room; Monday Morning [08/17].

[howareyanow]

Wayne, while emitting a low, dissatisified sort of rumble in his chest and throat the whole time, didn't want to jump to any fucking conclusions, or nothin', but he felt that was a good direction to focus his ire for what seemed to be this Monday morning's choice of tom-fuckery.

He wasn't going to say anything about it--well, prob'ly not, not unless he was mebbe provoked, by what would only necessitate the mere whisper of suggestion--but there were definitely shrimp omelettes that morning, and he felt they all knew who could be blamed fer that one.

[[ open breakfast is open! ]]

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[mother_forker]

"HOLY MOTHERFORKING SHIRTBALLS!"

Those words were not said in the room. Nope they were from a different floor. One minute later there was a barely dressed tiny blonde teenager barging into the room.

"Do I smell cooked shrimp?! First shnapps fairies and now-"

And then saw who was cooking.

"Oh."

Shirt.

"Uh. Not that I'm.... Oh fork it. Can I please have some?"

Just take the win, Wayne. Just take the win.

[howareyanow]

Oh, he'd be a fool not to, although Wayne had to admit, he had been wondering how exactly this might play out if it happened that Eleanor had made her way up fer breakfast that morning.

If he'd known all this time that all it would've took was some shrip'n'eggs together...nothing would have changed, because he felt this was a mild atrocity, and was pretty much only doing it because it was slightly better'n the thought of what would happen if all that shrimp went unattended to.

Which may have been a senseless concern, he realized, once Eleanor got wind that there might have been shrimp needing tending to.

...something was not right with this girl.

Still, since a victory was a victory, Wayne wasn't about to look a gift shrimp in the rostrum, scooped some food onto a plate for her, and passed it on over with a nod and the requisite, "Eleanor. How are ya now?"

[mother_forker]

"Motherforking excellent!" Eleanor replied her voice dropping an octave in happiness. Barely able to stop herself from bouncing in her chair as the heap of eggs and shrimp appeared in front of her; she gave Wayne a big forking grin.

"Yesterday? I found random bottles of booze hidden in my rooms. I believe they are the work of fairies. Today? Shrimp for forking breakfast," she said, taking a bite of the omelette and rolling her eyes in ecstasy. "I believe that this may be the Week of Eleanor."

You're right, Wayne. Something was not right with this girl.

She took another bite and groaned in utter satisfaction. "I tell ya, Cowboy. If you and Shuri weren't already knocking boots I'd probably be peeling your clothes off right now."

Don't worry, Shuri. It's just the shrimp talking.

[howareyanow]

It better be just the shrimp talking! And more evidence that Wayne was never going to cook with shrimp again, especially as the only way he could respond to that was an uncomfortable squinting of his entire face, a long, disconsolate grumble, and the sudden desperate need for an adult, or at least someone else in the room with them.

[mother_forker]

Eleanor looked up from her food and laughed. "Okay. Take it easy, Cowboy. I know you and Shuri are a thing and I'm not going to throw that into the shirt pile over a plate of shrimp and eggs," she said poking through the omelette for the shrimp. "Your clothes and virtue are safe."

[howareyanow]

This assurance did not help Wayne feel any better, because he felt, in general, that nothing Eleanor said in the presence or promise of shrimp could be trusted.

And, really, it wouldn't be the first time a blonde had come in here and tried to do something fruity-loops like that over breakfast, neither!

So Wayne felt the safest port, at the point, was one that required veering far, far away.

"So!" he stated brusquely, as if the emphasis could keep his course steered right and in the clear. "Nice weather we're having, eh?"

He did not throw ehs around lightly.

[mother_forker]

"Yes," Eleanor said with an amused eyeroll. "It appears to be not too hot or too cold. If this were a fairy tale I'd say it was just right."

[howareyanow]

"All the more reason," Wayne continued staunchy, as he decided to spend a little more time on the traditional Monday morning breakfast pancakes to take a nice step back from anything shrimp related at the moment, "to get out there an' enjoy it, then, Goldilocks."

[mother_forker]

Well her plate was totally clean but she was now peering around to see if there was any shrimp still hanging around.

"Is there more?" she asked.

Because she is a greedy thing.

[howareyanow]

Well, there went the plan to focus on some pancakes fer a bit.

But before he agreed to anything, Wayne felt it was important to ask, brows quirked, "Can you handle more?"

He felt that it was his duty, as a responsible citizen of this world, to at least ask.

[mother_forker]

Can she handle more?

Clearly Wayne has not been to Caritas during jello shot nights.

"Uh. Yeah, cowboy. Hand over those shrimpies."

[howareyanow]

Very recent threats to his person and attire gave him very good reason to question such claims!

So there was a skeptical squint narrowed in on Eleanor for a moment, before he gave a reluctant grumble, and turned to grab some more eggs and some of that shrimp, really hoping he wasn't about to regret something here, but making a vow to himself to pump the brakes on this whole thing if things got outta line.

[mother_forker]

"This is going to be a permanent menu item going forward, right?"

Look at that. Eleanor had gone from independent jerk to a complete mooch.

[howareyanow]

"Not fuckin' likeleh!" Wayne said with firm, determined conviction.

He had, briefly, wondered if doing it because it was something Eleanor liked was just bein' a good friend, but then he realized that he'd be a much better friend, to Eleanor and everyone else in the dorms, realleh, if he stood his ground on this one.

"Only reason they're there today is because they were there."

Which, he realized after he said it, might only lead to Eleanor planting shrimp in the fridge overnight on Sunday from here on in, but that seemed almost like it'd be a bit too much effort for Eleanor to bother with. Or that she'd likeleh forget in a couple days' time, anywhey.

[mother_forker]

Indeed, Eleanor did have the thought of planting shrimp in the fridge next Sunday. However that involved walking alllllll the way to the store and then alllllll the way back and that was a lot of walking for someone else. Even if it did give her cooked shrimp. So that was a non-starter.

Please disregard the fact that she walked to Mooby's every Monday to get her own breakfast sandwich and then come back to the common room to eat it. That was done on principal.

The fact that frequent shrimp could have happened if Eleanor was friendly would never occur to her. At least not in this timeline.

"Well," she replied crisply, "Then I'm just going to celebrate the fact that this week everything is coming up Eleanor and enjoy these shrimp while they are here."

[howareyanow]

At the very least, Eleanor had herself a nice, fresh, second shrimp omelette being passed over to her right then, so there was that.

Passed over with a bit of a skeptical squint from Wayne as he said, "I'm gonna regret askin' this, I'm sure, but...had a good week so far, have ya?"

It was, though, only Monday morning, so...

[mother_forker]

Eleanor happily began to devour said omelette and also talk with her mouth full.

"Hey. This week so far is awesome. Shrimp today, right? 'K. Yesterday? I found three free bottles of booze hidden in my room by some unseen force. Clearly this is my week."

Of course those were bottles she purchased and lost in her room. She then forgot about them and found them.

[howareyanow]

Suppose that was one way to help make life full of little surprises, then...

One of Wayne's brows quirked.

"What'll it be tomorrow, y'think?"

And did he really want to ask that question?

[mother_forker]

"No idea!" Eleanor declared. "However Wednesday is Ladies Night and so whatever is in between will no doubt be sandwiched in awesome."