http://jerusalem-s.livejournal.com/ (![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
jerusalem-s.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhighdorms2005-09-06 10:51 am
jerusalem-s.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhighdorms2005-09-06 10:51 am
Entry tags:
Campus Life
Rules for interacting with Professor Jerusalem outside of class.
I don't want to live here. I hate it here. If you want to co-exist in peace, please remember the following.
1. My security system is custom issue and designed to maim or kill. I do not invite students into my quarters for any reason, so no exceptions will be made save for my eventual Teaching Assistant. There is a large sign stating thus just outside my door in eight languages and my lawyers assure me that this absolves me from any legal action if you are, in fact, killed or maimed when attempting entry.
2. If your key accidentally takes you inside my quarters when you were aiming for, say, Chemistry Class, please make your way immediately to the nearest exit and let yourself out. Touch anything and I will not only know, I will hunt you down and feed you to the bouncer... thing outside the teacher's lounge. Alive.
3. I don't appreciate disruptions when I'm working, sleeping, eating, relaxing, having sex, researching or breathing. If it is an emergency or you have money, drugs or porn, my reaction is liable to be somewhat toned down.
4. Clothing inside my quarters is optional. If I answer the door in the altogether, you have no one to blame but yourself.
5. Yes, the tattoos are real. No, you may not touch them. Any of them. Ever.
6. If there are complaints about your behavior on-campus I am the de facto bad cop and, believe me, I'm more than capable of living up to the title.
7. Do not attempt to intimidate or threaten me. I have broken world leaders. I have been beaten, tortured, forcibly tattooed, humiliated, sliced up and shot and none of this has so much as slowed me down. I don't care if you can make fire come out of your ass or if your daddy is the richest man on your planet. Trying to pull shit and then trying to bully or extort your way out of the consequences will result in a quick trip through locker 327 at the very least.
8. Bribery is always okay.
9. I have a special, burning hatred for bullies.
10. Yes, I am available for outside class consultation and other instructor-like duties. By appointment only. Do not just casually drop by my quarters unless you are prepared for the possible consequences.
I don't want to live here. I hate it here. If you want to co-exist in peace, please remember the following.
1. My security system is custom issue and designed to maim or kill. I do not invite students into my quarters for any reason, so no exceptions will be made save for my eventual Teaching Assistant. There is a large sign stating thus just outside my door in eight languages and my lawyers assure me that this absolves me from any legal action if you are, in fact, killed or maimed when attempting entry.
2. If your key accidentally takes you inside my quarters when you were aiming for, say, Chemistry Class, please make your way immediately to the nearest exit and let yourself out. Touch anything and I will not only know, I will hunt you down and feed you to the bouncer... thing outside the teacher's lounge. Alive.
3. I don't appreciate disruptions when I'm working, sleeping, eating, relaxing, having sex, researching or breathing. If it is an emergency or you have money, drugs or porn, my reaction is liable to be somewhat toned down.
4. Clothing inside my quarters is optional. If I answer the door in the altogether, you have no one to blame but yourself.
5. Yes, the tattoos are real. No, you may not touch them. Any of them. Ever.
6. If there are complaints about your behavior on-campus I am the de facto bad cop and, believe me, I'm more than capable of living up to the title.
7. Do not attempt to intimidate or threaten me. I have broken world leaders. I have been beaten, tortured, forcibly tattooed, humiliated, sliced up and shot and none of this has so much as slowed me down. I don't care if you can make fire come out of your ass or if your daddy is the richest man on your planet. Trying to pull shit and then trying to bully or extort your way out of the consequences will result in a quick trip through locker 327 at the very least.
8. Bribery is always okay.
9. I have a special, burning hatred for bullies.
10. Yes, I am available for outside class consultation and other instructor-like duties. By appointment only. Do not just casually drop by my quarters unless you are prepared for the possible consequences.
no subject
no subject
This curfew? Is bullshit. I'm a night person. I just want to be able to stay at a midnight movie or coffeehouse past 2am. I would never endanger my life or the lives of anyone with me by getting into trouble after-hours, if allowed to maintain some independence. Is that so hard to understand?
I am a reasonable person, Mr. Jerusalem. I know a society needs order and rules, and a school needs them to keep its accreditation. But must these rules be applied so arbitrarily?
no subject
If you wish to plead an overall case, I'm afraid you have Ms. Sidle to deal with... and may the diety of your choice watch over you for that encounter.
no subject
Well, it was worth a shot.
I'll make a note of your... negotiating terms, should I ever, in case of emergency or kidnapping by aliens who force me to drink coffee outside the dorm, need to know your standards for opening discussion.