fandomhighdorms | Vaguely heard through dorm walls Sunday evening

*doesn't know that Julian's just returned from giving up his guns*

So, Julian, who you takin to the homecoming dance?

*in tones of icy disdain and barely-contained rage*

Who gives a flying &*%$#@! about the homecoming dance?

*continues to whittle a bedpost down into matchsticks with a Very Large Knife*

No doubt you and ~~the Manly Men in Tights Club~~ your little coterie of friends will all go in a protective group and do each others' hair...

Actually, I haven't asked anyone. And Lee and I might have to go together since Lee's ~~non~~ girlfriend just got asked out my Cam Mitchell. I'm planning on asking someone but don't know how she'll feel about it.

And Julian, *pats shoulder*, if you want to join our club, just ask. Club envy can consume you.

*reaches back and grabs Crichton's hand. Applies pressure to one finger*

I'm delighted for you. If I am ever envious, you shall be the first to know ~~over my dead body~~. I'll be sure to say something nice over what remains of you after Aeryn's finished.

*yelps*

Damn it! Ouch! I need those fingers to write and do other stuff with.

Well, at least you'll come to my funeral.

*glares*

Do other stuff with. Of course.

*smirks and releases finger*

I imagine attendance at your funeral will be mandatory for all students, along the lines of "if you can't be a good example, at least be a horrible warning". And Archie and Lee will wear matching attractive black mourning attire.

Well, will you at least wear your Sunday best to the funeral, Jules?

[OOC: Feel free to go Sark on John without killing him. I'm just provoking because I like Action!Sark.]

*seizes John's hand again. This time, the entire hand is bent back in an extremely painful fashion*

Don't. Call. Me. Jules. Or I will be attending your funeral markedly sooner than you had anticipated. Johnny.

Uncle, damn it, uncle!

Please, I don't wanna go to the clinic again. Cuddy's hands are cold.

*winces and grimaces*

Sorry, Julian. Julian!

*adds one more wrench for good measure, then lets go and pats John patronizingly on the head* Good boy. Keep that lesson in mind.

House foisted you off on Cuddy, did he? Could have been worse. God knows what harm he could inflict with that cane.

My sentiments exactly. *leaning against his door*

More than happy to swear for you, if you feel you shouldn't be setting a bad example for your students.

*continues to mutter in various dialects interspersed with English*

There are tentacles at this place. Werewolves. Many students I distrust. Roving bands of women who kidnap people for nefarious plots. And all I have with which to defend myself is knives, some pois...

*pauses, rephrases*

...several less-efficacious methods than my guns.

OOC: Rant does not represent the opinion(s) of mun. *grins*

Now, now, I'm sure poisons are also against the rules. *snarky tone* And if it came down to it, I could break anyone's neck with very little effort.

I understand the principal's point, though. Doesn't mean I like it.

*mutters* Until the day they are also banned, I shall cling to my small pharmocopeia with all my strength.

I do not doubt you in the least. However, as a student, I imagine I would succumb to death by detention if I snapped anyone's neck. Not an option.

*manages a small smile* It's comforting to know that there are others who share my views.

*chuckles* Many agree with you. And I understand that this is a high school, but high schools are becoming more dangerous each day. Oh well. I'd rather not have

principalconnor after me. She scares me.

*a pause*

And I don't think I'm alone in that either.

*heartfelt* Nor I. She put the fear of God in me during enrollment, and I'm not a member of any religion.

Perhaps she'll rescind the order if she runs into the tentacles or a werewolf. Or

notsouledyet when he's feeling playful.

*more seriously* Speaking of which, I hope you've had no more trouble from him? Jayne and I were idly discussing setting up guards around your door...

He spoke to me the other night--I had my door open, but did not invite him in. And I have numerous crucifixes around the apartment now. He told me he has no intention of killing me. *a tight smile* Call me paranoid but I don't believe him.

*nods* I find his ambition fascinating, but his personal habits...*makes a distasteful face* I have never seen death as recreational in the slightest.

*gestures towards a wooden cross lying on the bed. The vertical beam has been sharpened to a point at both ends*

I've been trying to work out my frustration in useful ways. Take that if you like--I can make more.

Already have a collection of stakes made. But thanks.

*makes a face* Can't say I understand it either. Anyway, wanted to see if you were alright. That was a rather loud yell.

*quick smile and she leaves*

My apologies for disturbing you. I'll keep my swearing to a lower volume for the rest of the evening.

*And does so as she leaves*

*knocks on door, waist bare of all weapondry, eyes suspiciously bright*

Hey. Got your message about our class project.

*is working out some residual frustration by whittling what looks like a baseball bat into sawdust* Evening, Anakin. Pardon if I'm distracted, I'm ~~watching the Emmys~~ missing my guns rather keenly.

So. If our mission is to destroy the Whomping Willow that ruined Professor Amidala's clothes, our first tactic is to get close to it. Ground approach is too risky, those branches reach quite far. Do you have anything that might help with that? I know nothing you might have compares to the 'Baby', but given your other interesting accessories...

*smiles at the large pile of sawdust* I know just how you feel. *makes an unconscious reach for his lightsaber*

Taking on a tree without weapondry is going to significantly increase the difficulty of this assignment. We should get two rides in the Baby, at least.

*thinks*

I definitely agree that a top-down approach is the way to go with this thing. We'll have to see just how far those branches can reach. I was rather unceremoniously dropped here: my Master didn't want me to have transportation off the planet and the ship that brought me here belongs to the Council in any event. There is a ship that Wash and Kaylee were working on before they disappeared that was supposed to be used by the Flight Club. Maybe we could borrow it?

[OOC: Emmys! Drat being on the Pacific coast and not seeing them yet]

If you can convince Professor Amidala of that, I certainly won't object at all.

If we can get airborne, then we have several options. Raining pesticides down from a safe distance above--or perhaps a long-reaching flamethrower--are the best ideas I can come up with. Minimal contact with the tree is essential.

Do we know how far Wash and Kaylee got with that ship? They both were quite capable, but I still don't know how safe it might be.

I don't know how far Wash and Kaylee got. I was going to talk to Jayne tomorrow about taking over the Flight Club anyway--I'll swing by and see how it looks. I'm pretty handy with machinery, too, so a few minutes with her and I'll be able to tell if she'll ever get airborne.

Shame to kill the thing, though. Padmé aside, it's provided some quality entertainment tossing unsuspecting beings into the water. Probably why Principal Connor's kept it aroudn so long--seems like her kind of humor.

*snarls something under his breath about Principal Connor's sense of hunor*

All right, I'll trust your judgement on that. I've only ever flown mass-produced vehicles, I've no idea how to gauge airworthiness.

Hmmmm. Perhaps if we diluted pesticides with water, it would simply wilt the tree down to a more manageable size. Then it could only grab the ~~really dumb freshmen~~ few silly enough to get within range.

*smiles in agreement at Sark's muttering* Probably why there aren't signs around the thing to warn people, either.

It'll be pretty easy to know how the ships's doing--if it lifts off the ground: good. If not: bad.

*shrugs*

Sorry, I'm a little twitchy today too. I haven't walked around without a lightsaber since I was ten. You get used to having it, you know?

We might even get bonus points for not killing the thing. Advanced negotiations without loss of life: Padmé should be all over it.

I quite sympathize. I have not been without a gun since...well, I was young. ~~I named my first one Binky.~~

*chuckles* I was hoping for a method of flight-testing that would not involve plummeting to earth in a fireball if it proves unsafe. But as I said, I'm happy to leave it to you.

Bonus points are always good. ~~Especially for you, Romeo.~~

I suppose there are methods that would check to see if it the ship would fly without the mortal peril part, but really, where's the fun in that?

~~Oh, I know. Any little bit helps, I guess.~~

*walks past muttering*

*sees Sark's Very Large Knife*

*fingers start twitching*

*glowers* This? Is mine. Try and take it, and I will remove your twitching fingers.

*returns to the Whittling of Frustration* Have a lovely evening.

Hey, I'm not into stealing other people weapons. ~~Unless I'm planning on attacking them that is.~~

It's just that it looks like it has a lovely balance.

Your technique isn't bad either.

*twitch*

The same goes for me.

Yes, it has a lovely balance. It was a gift from my guardian for my last birthday; she had it especially made.

Thank you for the compliment ~~but you're still not getting your hands on it~~.

Your guardian has excellent taste. You wouldn't be able to get the name of the smith off her next time you talk?

~~Can I just stay in the same room as it for a while then?~~

Overheard you talking with Sidle. You're a fan of ~~poisons~~ chemistry too, then?

I believe she had it commissioned from a Siena metalworker. ~~She likely also had him killed immediately after, but I'll ask.~~

Have a seat. Over there. Make a grab and your hand is gone.

I've developed an appreciation for *cough* chemistry, yes. I generally apply it only when subtlety is called for, but now and again it comes in handy. ~~Such as when our weapons are unfairly stripped from us.~~

Sienna, eh? Most of my equipment's from Sparta. Barking mad the lot of them, but they do know their weapons. ~~Pity that, good workmanship is hard to find.~~

*sits down across from Sark, keeping her hands where he can see them*

It's always a pleasure to meet another chemist. I've often found that it can be a real livesaver...or not.

*grins*

Y'know, I think I forgot to introduce myself. Callisto.

I've seen you running amok with Beka and that lot. *small smile* Julian Sark, a pleasure indeed.

The insane ones can be tricky to work with, but they always think of clever innovations. Bayonets in canes, poison in ring settings, et cetera.

My reputation preceedes me? *smiles back* Likewise.

I'm all for innovation, to a degree. Once you start getting too clever, it tends to turn on you rather quickly. This weekend's drama being a case in point.

Tell me, Julian, what sins did you commit to get sent to this Living Tartarus?

When you wear leather like that, your reputation precedes you by a mile. Not that I'm complaining, mind you.

*does not comment about the weekend's drama, since that will lead to more Angry Whittling*

Sins? None ~~that I didn't cover up or frame someone else for~~ that I can remember offhand. My guardian thought I should attend this school. And I am...not inclined to disobey her. She has weapons worse than knives.

Yourself?

*laughs*

When you wear leather like this, the vast majority of men are too busy looking at your breasts to realise you've just put a sword through their gut. Not to say I'd think you'd fall for that.

I must say, your guardian sounds like a fascinating woman. Is she planning on attending Connor's little open day?

Me?

Victim of bored housewives with far too much time and money on their hands.

The Thracian Women's Guild decided to find every war orphan in Thrace and "give them a new life of hope". One moment I'm going over troop movements with Theodorus, the next I'm being told I'm going to "an environment more suited to a person of my age and gender".

Distraction is a perfectly valid and useful technique in a fight. Far too many people seem to think it's not 'fair' or something like that. They've clearly never been in a fight.

Overwhelmed by do-gooder housewives and their efforts at makeovers. You have my sympathies.

...Irina? Coming to the open house?

*actually flinches*

God have mercy. I hope not.

OOC: *snickers* If she did, he'd die. I'm almost tempted, but I don't think I could play both of them without my brain exploding.

Vaguely heard through dorm walls Sunday evening

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