fandomhighdorms | On the Maru: Waiting for Angelus

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On the Maru: Waiting for Angelus - NFB and locked

After leaving the clinic without once meeting Phoebe or Bel's eyes, Beka couldn't get to the Maru fast enough. Right now, if she saw another human, she'd either kill them or cry. Since the former would probably do a lot more for her state of mind, it was probably a very good idea she'd chosen to meet Angelus here.

While she stalked across campus to her ship, she commed Buffy. "Buffy? Change of plans. I need you out at my ship now, and gone before a half an hour is up. I don't want you near Angelus with me in this mood. This isn't a request."

"Yes, my Morning Star," she responded.

"Don't be hurt, Buffy. I don't ask for things much. I'm letting you help me. That's a lot."

"I know."

"Good. See you very soon."

Fifteen minutes later, she was handing Buffy her note, and telling her to go see if Phoebe and Bel needed theirs dropped off. Before Buffy left, she kissed her forehead. "Thank you."

Buffy left, not running, but walking fast, and soon she was out of sight. Beka settled back against the hull of her ship, drawing comfort from the feel of home. She lit a cigarette and waited for Angelus.

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After dropping Bel off in his room and leaving him in Phoebe's care, Angelus showed up.

"Full story," he said. "Now."

"It's a long story, Angelus," she said, clearly upset. "It starts with Red's Appreciation Day. Do you want the whole thing so you don't need flow charts or do you want me to skip to the part you're going to want to do something about?"

"Skip to that part, fill me in on the rest later," Angelus said.

She nodded. "Why do I feel like I should be offering you blood or a blowjob before I do this?"

Not going to lose it front of Angelus. Especially not when he's angry. Not. Crossing her arms to hide the way her hands shook, Beka met his gaze, and began it. "After the bonfire, I went walking. Everyone was emo. I wanted to be alone until I saw you. And I thought maybe I'd learn something useful if I wandered. I saw Bel and he was... like I've never seen him. Storming through town like he might set it on fire if he could. He ran into CJ before I caught up with him and shoved her so hard she fell. That should've been my cue to call you." She sighed unhappily. "I wish there'd been time..."

"That's never a bad offer to me as a given," Angelus said, "No matter what's coming after it."

He took in Beka's words. "Bel was pissed? Why?"

"Maybe later." But there was none of the usual playfulness. She was too tired and too hurt to play games.

"I didn't know, then. I didn't find out until after he'd knocked me down, blown up a trash can, and tried to strangle Tara for being a witch. It wasn't until I heard Tara that I figured out that Crowley did something to him. I think he went to Crowley spoiling for a fight. And found worse."

"So many places to hop on with all that," Angelus rubbed his eyes in a tired fashion. "Walk me through Crowley."

"Flow chart." She pulled out her cigarettes, needing something to do. Lit one and offered one to Angelus, but kept on talking. "Friday night I met up with Tara at Red's party. No, back up... Tuesday night, I think, Tara called me, very late."

She looked at Angelus, pleadingly. "I'm breaking a confidence here. Please don't ask her about him. I tell you because I think you need to know what you're dealing with."

"Demon," Angelus said, taking a cigarette. "Claims he's one of the worst. Can't say I necessarily believe him."

As ever, she lit his cigarette without waiting for him to ask.

"You told me - about the Serpent in the Garden. I don't know about the story, God, Heaven... I'll take your word on Hell. But Angelus..."

She inhaled, then shakily exhaled a plume of smoke. "Tuesday night Tara called. Crowley had been fucking with her. He touched her, and made her feel lust. She was hysterical - mostly because he has a cock. Tara being oh so very gay except as it comes to you. I went over, she told me the story, agreed she'd not let him touch her anymore. Friday night, when I found her, she'd seen him again. Same story basically, but then all of the sudden she just lost it. Utterly and completely lost it. For no reason." Her tone is raw, angry and hurt and maybe a little afraid.

"Well isn't that nice of him," Angelus said, with the kind of quiet that suggested there wasn't a living soul - or unsoul - who wanted to hear the emotions he was keeping firmly in check. "Why Tara?"

Oh she didn't like what she heard in Angelus's non-tone. All kinds of terrifying there, but she suppressed it. "Two reasons. One, she's a habitual victim. Strong wind blows the wrong way, she shatters. Two, and this is more important I think, she walked in on him and Phale doing whatever their kind do that passes for sex."

"Can't say I disagree with the tetchyness," Angelus said. "But even so, this does not make me happy."

"It didn't make me happy either." Trying for calm, Beka took another drag off her cigarette, then flicked the ash away from them. This part came a bit easier.

"You know me. Shane came for Tara, and I went looking for Crowley. I know he's 'out of my weight class' as the pirate put it, but I wasn't looking for a fight. Crowley likes me. I thought, stupidly, that I could just talk to him. Find out why he was hurting Tara. Maybe tell her so she'd stop doing whatever she'd done to upset him.

"It went well enough. He said he wasn't actually doing anything to her. That he didn't have to. She was so broken that it took nothing from him. But like I told you yesterday, he wasn't as slick as usual. He was upset, because people didn't appreciate the opportunity to prove their goodness by being tempted. They all want to blame him.

"I said I was sorry. Which made him laugh. I suppose that was..." Her mouth curls, finally, into the tiniest most pathetic of smiles. "Laughable."

Angelus took a thoughtful drag off of his cigarette. It was obvious that the wheels of his mind were turning. "Then what?"

Angelus's lack of direct response set her nerves on edge. He didn't seem exactly mad at her, but he was so quiet.

"Then I asked him again why he'd go after Tara rather than someone like me. He said Tara was more innocent than I am, but not more 'good'. But that, in general, souls like mine 'litter the slopes of Hell' - like I told you. I asked him if that was so, why he liked me. I knew he did because he showed me the respect of calling me by name often, which he doesn't do with most.

"He told me that I was precious. Because if he could push me to choose for good first, then tempt me away, it would be a victory for him. Or that if I chose the good, that would also be a victory. And even if I didn't, I would see Hell, which he wouldn't and there would be pleasure in that. I took from this that because I'm one who exercises free will, if I fall, there is more glory in that for him.

"I told him I didn't think he could find anything in Fandom to tempt me with. It wasn't a dare," she hastened to add. "Just an observation on how life here is better than any I'd known."

Here she dropped Angelus's gaze completely. "He decided to prove I was wrong."

"Can't say I don't recognize the style," Angelus said. "Go on."

Moved over to the margin. (http://www.livejournal.com/community/fandomhighdorms/246414.html?thread=9245838#t9245838)

"Can't say I don't recognize the style," Angelus said. "Go on."

She put her cigarette out on the heel of her boot, and without looking at Angelus said flatly, "He said he would give me Bel."

Angelus quirked an eyebrow. "Wasn't aware Bel was his to give."

"It didn't seem prudent to mention that you owned him," she said. "I told him no anyhow."

"How'd that go?"

Sometimes I hate you.

"About like you'd expect," she said, lighting another cigarette, because she couldn't look at him, and if she didn't find something to do her emotions were going to spill over and splash to the ground in the tears she'd been holding in check since late last night.

"He waved his hands around and did what I thought was conjuring an image of Bel. Then he did something to my head. Leaned on me. Said he knew I didn't want him for myself but that I loved him and needed him. Then he asked me if that was true."

A quick nervous hit off her cigarette, then a bitter laugh. "Me? 'Of course I love him. He's the only person who knows everything.' Problem? He hadn't conjured Bel. Bel had come looking for me. He overheard all of it."

"Awkward," Angelus said, not without sympathy.

Something in his tone drew her eyes up again, gave her back a little of her self. "Thank you," she said, softly.

"Fortunately, Bel had heard all of it. So he knew, at least, that I wasn't looking to get between him and Phoebe - or him and you, for that matter. He got all Alpha on me, which should please you, and demanded to know what was going on and what Crowley was doing to me. There were explanations, then we went to leave.

"Crowley didn't like Bel. And Bel made it worse. So Crowley leveled a parting shot at him about Phoebe. Said it was a pity what he'd do to Phoebe. Bel got hot. So did I. I made him drop it because it was curfew.

"We went back to the dorms and had a little...chat. That actually went well, though."

She paused, taking a drag off her cigarette, and waiting to see if Angelus really wanted to know the details of that conversation. If he did, she'd tell, but gods...a thousand kinds of awkward.

"So how'd this end up with Bel going psycho last night?" Angelus asked.

She sighed, grateful. "When he and I talked, he asked a lot about Crowley. He didn't like that Crowley fucked with Tara, or with me. He also wanted to know what Crowley meant by what he'd said about Phoebe. I tried to warn him off.

"Gets a little speculative here, but... If I had to guess, Bel went to Crowley. Picked a fight. Got whammied and came into town all fire and wrath and looking for something to kill. Alanna and I ran into him in time to knock him out. I called Shane. I woke Bel to shimmer us to the clinic.

"After that? I ran around and tried to cover Bel's ass for assaulting two teachers."

"Tara owes me," Angelus said. "And Bel's mine. That one should be taken care of, or will once I talk to her."

That brought Beka's head up sharply to meet Angelus's gaze. "It's done. Both her and CJ. Neither will press charges. Also, Alanna will say nothing as long as Bel doesn't cause more trouble." There was a clarion note of pride in her voice. In that, at least, she'd done well.

"Good for you," Angelus reached out to brush the back of his hand across her cheek. "Nice to know I can trust you to take care of that."

She resisted the urge to close her eyes and lean into his hand ~~because that would be entirely pathetic~~. "You can," she said, tone hushed. "It's who I am."

"One of the many reasons why I like you," Angelus leaned in to press a kiss against her temple.

She let herself enjoy that, his affection, for a quiet moment, then pulled herself back from the emo-precipice she'd been on all day.

"I should hate you for how well you play me," she said, stifling a grin. "But if you're looking for the blush, you'll have to work harder than that."

"Damn," he grinned. "And I do so enjoy that view."

She laughed at that. "Not saying I'll stop you from trying."

"Who said you could?" Angelus replied before moving his lips back to kiss behind her ear.

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On the Maru: Waiting for Angelus - NFB and locked

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