fandomhighdorms | On the Maru: Waiting for Angelus

After leaving the clinic without once meeting Phoebe or Bel's eyes, Beka couldn't get to the Maru fast enough. Right now, if she saw another human, she'd either kill them or cry. Since the former would probably do a lot more for her state of mind, it was probably a very good idea she'd chosen to meet Angelus here.

While she stalked across campus to her ship, she commed Buffy. "Buffy? Change of plans. I need you out at my ship now, and gone before a half an hour is up. I don't want you near Angelus with me in this mood. This isn't a request."

"Yes, my Morning Star," she responded.

"Don't be hurt, Buffy. I don't ask for things much. I'm letting you help me. That's a lot."

"I know."

"Good. See you very soon."

Fifteen minutes later, she was handing Buffy her note, and telling her to go see if Phoebe and Bel needed theirs dropped off. Before Buffy left, she kissed her forehead. "Thank you."

Buffy left, not running, but walking fast, and soon she was out of sight. Beka settled back against the hull of her ship, drawing comfort from the feel of home. She lit a cigarette and waited for Angelus.

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"Can't say I disagree with the tetchyness," Angelus said. "But even so, this does not make me happy."

"It didn't make me happy either." Trying for calm, Beka took another drag off her cigarette, then flicked the ash away from them. This part came a bit easier.

"You know me. Shane came for Tara, and I went looking for Crowley. I know he's 'out of my weight class' as the pirate put it, but I wasn't looking for a fight. Crowley likes me. I thought, stupidly, that I could just talk to him. Find out why he was hurting Tara. Maybe tell her so she'd stop doing whatever she'd done to upset him.

"It went well enough. He said he wasn't actually doing anything to her. That he didn't have to. She was so broken that it took nothing from him. But like I told you yesterday, he wasn't as slick as usual. He was upset, because people didn't appreciate the opportunity to prove their goodness by being tempted. They all want to blame him.

"I said I was sorry. Which made him laugh. I suppose that was..." Her mouth curls, finally, into the tiniest most pathetic of smiles. "Laughable."

Angelus took a thoughtful drag off of his cigarette. It was obvious that the wheels of his mind were turning. "Then what?"

Angelus's lack of direct response set her nerves on edge. He didn't seem exactly mad at her, but he was so quiet.

"Then I asked him again why he'd go after Tara rather than someone like me. He said Tara was more innocent than I am, but not more 'good'. But that, in general, souls like mine 'litter the slopes of Hell' - like I told you. I asked him if that was so, why he liked me. I knew he did because he showed me the respect of calling me by name often, which he doesn't do with most.

"He told me that I was precious. Because if he could push me to choose for good first, then tempt me away, it would be a victory for him. Or that if I chose the good, that would also be a victory. And even if I didn't, I would see Hell, which he wouldn't and there would be pleasure in that. I took from this that because I'm one who exercises free will, if I fall, there is more glory in that for him.

"I told him I didn't think he could find anything in Fandom to tempt me with. It wasn't a dare," she hastened to add. "Just an observation on how life here is better than any I'd known."

Here she dropped Angelus's gaze completely. "He decided to prove I was wrong."

"Can't say I don't recognize the style," Angelus said. "Go on."

Moved over to the margin. (http://www.livejournal.com/community/fandomhighdorms/246414.html?thread=9245838#t9245838)

On the Maru: Waiting for Angelus - NFB and locked

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