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Saturday Morning - Gym

Carefully sneaking out of the room, so as not to wake Han, Shep heads down for the gym.

He hasn't had a chance to check the weather, but it looks cloudy and gray and like it just possibly may rain on him if he actually goes running, so he stretches and then heads for a treadmill.

[ooc: LJ seems to be speaking to me again... come bother Shep or use the gym for... whatever. :)]

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"Hey! I'm working out. I've been a slug this week. Last week's nine-day detention has screwed up my sleep patterns but good, so I'm trying to knock them back into place."

He watches Lana slug at the bag.

"Uh... that's not my face you're picturing on there, is it?"

She pauses and looks at him consideringly, then back at the bag. "Not necessarily. Why? Is there some reason I should be?"

Shep shrugs, and slows the treadmill down a bit so he can talk and walk. "Uh... not that I know of. But I'm a guy. We do dumb things without ever knowing how dumb we are. Sometimes it's just good to check in."

Lana rolls her eyes, "Tell me about it." She punches the bag a few more times before answering. "A little confused. Disappointed, maybe. But no, not mad."

Now he's pretty sure he has done something... but he still doesn't know what. "Um... okay..."

She rolled her eyes again and turned back to the bag, redoubling her efforts and adding in a few kicks to areas that, were she imagining it was Shep would cause him an immense amount of pain.

Shep turns the tredmill speed back up and goes back to jogging. He'd *asked* if he'd done something wrong... she said no... but he'd be damned if he believed her right then. But other than asking again, he wasn't sure what to do.

Lana continued working the bag until she'd all but exhausted herself. She sat on one of the mats and drank some water then went over to stand beside Shep as he ran on the treadmill.

"I'm not mad, really. I just..." She shook her head. "I don't get it. I know things have been a little weird since break with my concussion and you being sick and the whole not being able to stay in my room thing. And I know you were really furious that I stayed in the common room that one night instead of coming to you, but..."

"I've got my own room now. And neither of us is out of commission. And I told you I was ready to, you know," she makes an aimless gesture, "take the next step... And nothing. And I just don't know how to take that. Have you changed your mind? Are you not interested in me anymore? Am I just being paranoid? I don't know." She looks sad and a little hurt.

Shep steps onto the side boards of the treadmill and pulls the emergency stop. "You were serious about that?"

He opens and closes his mouth a few times before anything else can come out. "Oh for crying out loud." He wipes his face with his towel and then hops down and goes over to talk to Lana.

"I thought you were just... winding me up. I say I'm going off to do my Sex Cultures homework, you say you want to have sex. I thought you were..." He gesticulates somewhat wildly instead of finshing the sentence. Then he bangs his head into the punching bag. "Oh crap."

Lana makes a face. "Guess I'm not very good at this whole thing." She reaches out to put a hand on his shoulder, then stops herself and clasps her hands together instead.

"Yeah, I was serious. Actually, I decided back before break. I was going to tell you the night we went out caroling, but we had that schnapps and I knew you'd be worried it was just the alcohol talking so I decided to wait. And..." she shrugs. "Just everything kept happening. And even though we were sleeping in the same bed, Han was there in the room, so I figured when I finally got moved into my own place..."

"I thought you knew I was serious." She says finally. "Guess I screwed up."

Shep continued pounding his head into the punching bag. "Aw Lana..." He has no idea how to fix this. "If you screwed up anything, it was the timing. That was all. I mean, to land something like that on a guy as he's walking out the door... And, you know... we've talked about this. Are you sure you want your first time to be with a jackass like me? I'm obviously not very good at getting what you're telling me... I don't want to... I don't know... " He sighs, leaning on the bag. "I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't want someone so clueless ever near you again. You tease me over the stupid act... but sometimes I'm just that stupid."

She hesitates then reaches out to him, this time touching his shoulder, then his face until he looks at her. "There's a lot of things I'm not sure about, but this isn't one of them. Believe me, I've been thinking about this a lot. About what I want and what it means and what my expectations are and whether they're reasonable. And I've decided a lot of things."

She bites her lip, "Look, this is probably going to come out wrong or mixed up, but just let me say it and then I can fix it or you can ask me to explain or whatever. I'm 17. A high school sophomore. I have a huge amount of my life ahead of me and there's no way to know what the future holds. It's way too early for me to be making decisions about forever or even really long term. All I can do is make decisions about what I want to do now and what's right for me right now.

And I'm ready for this. And it's what I want. And you're the person I want to experience it with. I trust you. I know you'll make it good for me - incredible, if the other stuff we've done is anything to go by. I told you before that I wanted my first time to be special - that it be more than some casual thing. With you, I think it will be. I care about you a great deal. I guess I really love you in a way - and before you freak, I'm not talking about *in* love, together forever, expect you to propose kind of love.

It's... like... We have this incredible friendship. It's real and sincere and deep. You're someone I can see being friends with all my life regardless of where we end up or who we end up with - that's not what's important. But there's this deep connection there - like we've known each other forever. You'd be there for me if I ever needed you and I'd be there for you.

And that's the kind of person I want my first time to be with. So... There you have it." She looks incredibly nervous, but also determined.

He listens to Lana's speech and then debates finding something harder to hit his head against. "Wow." Not sure what to say in the face of that kind of honesty and openness, he just reaches down and grabs her hand. "Guess we've kind of had a few mixed signals going, huh?" And they're standing in the middle of the gym and he isn't sure what comes next. It's almost like they should just get right to it... but they've learned their lesson about public nudity. And they weren't even doing anything at that point.

He cocks his head. "Why do I feel like I should be penciling in 'sex with Lana' in my calander now?"

Lana holds onto his hand tightly. "I guess we have." She doesn't know quite what to do either. She'd been thinking about this for so long, but really had never pictured having this particular conversation in the middle of the gym where anyone could walk in at any moment. Part of her would like to just drag him upstairs, but another part is really enjoying just having this quiet moment with him.

She grins at his next comment, "Maybe you should be. Though I think I'd kind of prefer ink to pencil, if you don't mind. And aren't you the one who always talks about how powerful a force anticipation is?"

They stand there for another moment. "Okay, this is almost as awkward as that Wednesday in your room, when we were deciding about you and Han and I?"

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Saturday Morning - Gym

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