Third floor commoon room, Late Monday night

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

Peter was somewhat restless tonight. If he were in New York, he's probably go out webswinging. Unfortunately Fandom's buildings weren't tall enough. That meant late night infomercials.

"Girls Gone Wild? No thanks. Bowflex? Not for me. Shortcut to Internet Millions? Only if I can go back to before the dot com bust. Ultimate HGH? Is that even legal?"

Peter sighed. What had happened to all of the good infomercials? He continued to watch, drifting just enough into sleep that his reaction time might be a little off.

[OOC: First thread locked to Peter and a certain visitor, please, but after that open if anyone's around at this time of night. Audience participation is encouraged!]

Comments

[fh-anonymous.livejournal.com]

The gremlin currently hiding under a nearby chair was irritated. It'd climbed all this way to watch TV and this student was hogging the remote and falling asleep to boot. So not fair.

When it looked like Peter was really out of it, the gremlin snuck from beneath the chair and around behind where Peter was sitting. Carefully, it scaled the back until it could just peek over and see the remote held in Peter's hand. Teeth bared, the gremlin threw itself over the back of the couch, intent on biting the hand holding the remote in an attempt to make it let go.

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

Peter's spider-sense woke him up, but just a few moments too late. "Crap!" he yelled as the teeth sunk in. He shook his arm, looking to fling the gremlin across the room.

[fh-anonymous.livejournal.com]

Well, that didn't work.

Realizing it wouldn't win, the gremlin headed for the nearest vent and disappeared down it.

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

Peter braced himself for whatever was going to happen to him. He just hoped it wouldn't be too bad.

Like that was possible.

Peter as an infomercial host!

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

The venom sank in and Peter walked up by the television. "Welcome to our show! You may think that a good television remote could cost you, fifty, seventy-five, or even one hundred and THIRTY dollars! But you'd be wrong. If you order this universal remote during the next twenty minutes, you can get it for the low, low price of three payments of twelve ninety-nine!"

Peter waited for the applause to subside. "But that's not all! I'll also throw in the batteries to use it!"

Re: Peter as an infomercial host!

[palestshadow.livejournal.com]

Naminé heard the announcer voice and peered her head into the room.

"Who are you speaking to?" she asked.

Re: Peter as an infomercial host!

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"All the viewers at home!" Peter answered. "And you! You see, this remote control isn't just any remote. It's a universal remote! It can work on any device in your home or spaceport!"

Re: Peter as an infomercial host!

[palestshadow.livejournal.com]

"Can it really?" Naminé smiled. "And if I have no spaceport? I should hate to be missing out."

Re: Peter as an infomercial host!

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"Never fear! We'll be selling a dehydrated spaceport later this hour. Just add water and you can launch your very own intergalactic invasion fleet!" Peter announced, clapping his hands together in excitement.. "Isn't that wild? Yeah."

Re: Peter as an infomercial host!

[smartestone]

Hermione had been on her way to the kitchen for some water, but she stopped when she realized the voice she heard wasn't coming from the TV. "Peter?"

Re: Peter as an infomercial host!

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"It looks like we have some questions from the audience!" Peter said, leading the nonexistent crowd in clapping. "Yes, the girl with the accent. What questions do you have about this fantastic product?" Peter showed off the remote.

Re: Peter as an infomercial host!

[smartestone]

"...What are you doing?" she asked, figuring to go with the obvious, since this was, of course, Peter. She'd follow up depending on how he answered.

Peter sells something else!

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"Next up, we have the THIRD FLOOR COMMON ROOM COUCH!" Peter waited for the applause to subside. "You may wonder how we got the rights to sell this artifact, but if I told you, I'd have to kill you! Hahaha! But seriously, we'll be selling licenses to kill later this hour! Anyway, how much do you think a couch like this might cost? Two hundred dollars? Three hundred dollars? Don't be crazy! This is a school couch! There have probably been naked people on it, which lets us sell it for the low, low price of three dollars and ninety-seven cents!"

Re: Peter sells something else!

[multiplez]

Unable to sleep, Z found her way to the common room. "Dude, are you selling the couch?" she asked incredulously.

Re: Peter sells something else!

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"Another question from the audience!" Peter said. "Let's give her a hand!"

"Now I wouldn't say I'm selling the couch. At this price, I'm practically GIVING IT AWAY!"

Re: Peter sells something else!

[multiplez]

"Okay," Z said in her best 'humoring the crazy' tone. "I have another question. Why are you selling the couch?"

Re: Peter sells something else!

[halfshell-hero.livejournal.com]

"I have that much money!" Mikey peered his head into the common room and grinned. "Dude, a couch? That's totally awesome!"

Re: Peter sells something else!

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"We have a prospective buyer, ladies and gentlemen!" Peter said to the crowd that didn't exist. "Come on down. What's your name, sir?"

Re: Peter sells something else!

[halfshell-hero.livejournal.com]

Mikey was quite pleased! He had the spotlight!

Sort of!

"It's Michelangelo," he said, tooootally in his showbiz groove.

This was awesome.

Re: Peter sells something else!

[palestshadow.livejournal.com]

"Can we confirm the naked people?" Naminé asked. "I think that really fluctuates the price, you know."

Re: Peter sells something else!

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"Naked people on public couches can be assumed," Peter said. "It's... SCIENCE!"

Re: Peter sells something else!

[palestshadow.livejournal.com]

"Must we pay extra for the science?" Naminé asked.

And now a word from an ACTUAL USER OF THESE PRODUCTS!

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"I've said that these are the best products that money can buy, but don't take my word for it. Just ask one of our satisfied customers!"

Peter ducked down, removed his button-down shirt, and tied his hair back with a rubber band before speaking in a higher octave. It was like he was someone else entirely. "I never thought there was room in my life for good, cheap stuff," Peter said. "But now I know, there IS. I bought a roll of toilet paper for five three payments of two dollars and got it in the mail in only three weeks. I don't know what you'd call that kind of service when it comes to fresh toilet paper, but I call it 'good.'"

Peter pulled the rubber band out and put his button-down back on. "Thank you for those kind words."

And now, Peter snaps out of it!

[peter--parker.livejournal.com]

"Next up we have MY IMMORTAL SOUL. You may say, 'Hey, you're crazy!' And I'd tell you, 'I'm only crazy about getting you the best deal possible! Now, I... I..." Peter shook his head as the venom wore off. "Um. My soul's not for sale. Um. I'm going to bed. Night!"

Peter ran off to his room.

Re: And now, Peter snaps out of it!

[multiplez]

"Well, that's no fun," Z pouted.