Second Floor Common Room [Sunday Afternoon]

[death-and-pies.livejournal.com]

Father Ned had decided to go out to be with the people today. Yesterday had been fulfilling and exhausting between all the guidance he'd tried to provide, the last rites he'd given those poor coma patients, and the marriage of those two young children that would be together forever. He just knew it.

He tried not to think about the girl with the enormous chest who'd confessed...something to him. He wasn't sure and she'd run and he was...confused.

It was almost enough to make him forget about his own sordid past. Almost. He'd had nightmares about that again last night. So vivid, so real.

No, he was reformed now. He wouldn't go back to that time, to that place. Now, he was a giver of counsel, a provider of aide.

"Friends," he said to no one in particular, "I welcome you on this glorious day. I'm so glad you all could come out here and reach out to those less fortunate. And, just because you're less fortunate, does not make you any less of a person. You are all beautiful human beings, ready to spread your wings and fly. You must, though, resist temptation. You must resist the evils of the dark paths. Do not go gently into that good night. Follow the light and you will shine like the sun. Follow your heart and it will lead you to the meadow of utopia. Follow the dark path and purgatory will welcome you with open arms. You will be unable to leave. You will be forgotten. Because, dear friends, if you go down this path, you will only certainly end up in a clinic, in a coma, with half your face done and friends, I do not want to watch you all die of comas. It is a sad thing. Comas are SAD. Say no to comas. Thank you."

With that Father Ned took a seat with his book and hoped his message had gotten through.

[Ned's still around after his "sermon" so feel free to talk to him!]

Comments

[death-and-pies.livejournal.com]

"Ye---" Okay, Ned was still a MAN and his eyes went down to where a man would look. Oh my. "-s, my child?"

[not-fangirl.livejournal.com]

Temari gasped, throwing herself at him. "Oh, you must help me, father!

[death-and-pies.livejournal.com]

"Oh dear," he said, shaking a little underneath the thunderous force of her chest hitting his. "What's wrong, my dear?"

[not-fangirl.livejournal.com]

"My lover's twin brother tricked me into marrying him! And now he'll never forgive me," Temari said, crying pretty tears into his shirt.

[death-and-pies.livejournal.com]

"Oh, that's very unfortunate," he said, still trying to forget about what was pressed against his chest because holy G--goodness. "But I forgive you. And God forgives you. We both forgive you a lot."

[not-fangirl.livejournal.com]

"But will he?" Temari asked, giving him a look not unlike that of a doe.

[death-and-pies.livejournal.com]

"I cannot make that decision but I can tell you that if I were in his position, I would forgive you," Ned said, nodding. "You are one of God's children and you are meant to be forgiven. You are saddened by this turn of events. I know. I can fee- see that!"

[not-fangirl.livejournal.com]

"Oh, Father," Temari cooed, hugging him tightly. "I feel so safe with you!"

[death-and-pies.livejournal.com]

"And I feel very al-- happy to be help," Ned said, trying to squash all those long dormant desires. It was hard. Her boobs were delightful, after all. "You may stay with me for as long as you wish."

[not-fangirl.livejournal.com]

"Thank you, Father! Thank you for all your kindness..." She looked away. "I can only hope to repay you somehow."

[death-and-pies.livejournal.com]

"Oh, you can," Ned said before he could stop himself. "I mean, no. No, your happiness is enough. I just want all of my flock to be happy. Be honest. Follow your brea-heart. It's a strong heart and it will lead you to nirvana. You will see the happiness in the meadow of salvation when the truth sets you free."

[not-fangirl.livejournal.com]

Temari moved her finger on his chest, as if drawing something. "Is that all you want, Father?"

[death-and-pies.livejournal.com]

"Of..course," he said, nerves making their way into his voice. "I am a man of...no clothes. The cloth! God, the cloth. Gosh, I mean."

[not-fangirl.livejournal.com]

"Such a good man," Temari cooed. "So kind and selfless..."

[death-and-pies.livejournal.com]

"Thank you," he said, smiling at the compliments. "I try to pride myself on being kind and selfless to all who might cross my path. Everyone deserves TLC."

[not-fangirl.livejournal.com]

"What about you? Where's your TLC?"

[death-and-pies.livejournal.com]

"In my book," he said, sounding uncertain even as he said. "All the TLC I need is encompassed in the good word."

[not-fangirl.livejournal.com]

"What does the good word say about... this!" She asked, pulling him down for a kiss.

[death-and-pies.livejournal.com]

Ned wasn't able to tell her about the good word because oh my go--goodness--he was getting kissed. He was a priest, this was wrong wrong wrong wrong, but wow, it felt good.

[not-fangirl.livejournal.com]

"Oh, father! Show me what it is to love again!" Temari said, pressing her heaving bosom against him.

[death-and-pies.livejournal.com]

"No, we cannot!" he said, pulling himself away from breasts reluctantly. "I'm...a priest and you are in need of counsel. This is wrong, we are wrong and I will not go back to what I was."

[not-fangirl.livejournal.com]

"I just need love!" Temari replied, crossing her arms under her plentiful chest.

[death-and-pies.livejournal.com]

"I can't be the one to give it," Ned said and hated himself a little. "You must...find someone else."

[not-fangirl.livejournal.com]

Temari ran form him, sobbing and jiggling as she went.

Someday she'd find someone to love her without the pain!