fandomhighdorms | Third Floor Common Room, Thursday Evening

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Third Floor Common Room, Thursday Evening

Sizzler and Sizzler were performing! They were two lounge singers, and not two clearly insane people!

"Hello!" Alice said, into an invisible microphone. "I'm Jerry Sizzler, and this is my sister --"

"Jerry Sizzler," Rikku said, quite dramatically.

"We are of course two lounge singers --"

"And not two clearly insane people."

Petey mrowled happily from his spot on the couch. He got to be an oracle again! This was awesome!

Both Jerries had moved on to the musical portion of tonight's show. "TIE A YELLOW RIBBON ROUND THE OLD OAK TREE, IT'S BEEN THREE LONG YEARS --"

Rikku interrupted the song to shove her imaginary microphone out into the crowd. "Sing, you prrrrrrrrrrrrrricks!"

Jerry and Jerry: bringing crazy back.

(Alice and Rikku, thanks to this post, now think they are The Sizzlers. Which most of you know if you were in the game two years ago when they ran OrangeShoeSevenAide. OPEN! IT IS OPEN, JERRY! ~~PLEASE WAIT FOR THE OCD, OR THE FISH WILL EAT YOUR BRAAAAAINS!~~ THE OCD IS UP. NO FISH-BRAINS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS EPISODE.)

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It's certainly ... loud!

Agnes listened to the performance, and then clapped politely. "You're very... interesting," she told them.

"Yes we are, prrrrrrrrricks," Alice said cheerfully.

"We are two lounge singers!"

"We parked our donkeys outside!"

"Jerry! They aren't our donkeys, Jerry!"

Alice leaned in towards Agnes. "Just because we've stolen them doesn't make them our donkeys."

"Well, I should HOPE not," Agnes told them. "I imagine there's someone who wants their donkeys back."

"We didn't eat the donkeys," Rikku said indignantly.

"They were just sitting there! For anyone to try!"

"It's hardly our fault that no one thinks to lock up their lobsters."

"Those bunnies wanted freedom!"

"Freedom! Freedom!"

Please excuse the Jerries: they will be shouting FREEDOM! at one another for a while. It is possible that they think they are in ~~meta for~~ Braveheart. It is also possible that they like the word.

It was, perhaps, hard not to be infected with their... enthusiasm. (AFTER stifling a hysterical giggle, of course.) "For King and country!" Agnes added.

"Why, Jerry!" Alice said, gasping. "It's the King!"

"It's the country!" Rikku agreed.

"It's King Country!"

"King Country! Ruler of all of West Mexigreenland!"

The Jerries were going to bow. Repeatedly.

NOW Agnes laughed. Quite a bit, actually.

These two are NUTTERS.

"Why, yes, I AM King Country," she decided. "And your performance has pleased me." Although perhaps not the way they had intended.

"Thank you, King Greenland," Rikku said solemnly.

"King West Greenland," Alice corrected.

"Your praise has given our fish the happiest days of its life."

"I'm marrying the fish next week!"

"It's a lovely singing bass," Rikku noted. "I get to borrow him on the weekends."

"Jerry!" Alice snapped. "He's mine!"

Please hold while the Jerries strangle one another.

Agnes put a hand on each of them and tried to gently nudge them apart. "Don't let's start this," she told them. "Not over a fish. There are plenty of other fish in the sea."

"There are plenty of fish in our store," Alice said.

"Yes! In our one-and-only location!" Rikku agreed, as both dropped their hands from the strangling.

"Our main location! Of twelve!"

"All twelve stores are right here!"

"Here! And there! And right behind you!"

"Run! Run before it catches you!"

Well, they weren't strangling each other anymore. That was good, right? "I'm... immune to stores?" she offered hesitantly. "I don't need to run, because it can't get me."

"Very wise, Your Grace," Alice said firmly.

"You are far too clever for the albatross's antics!"

"Won't he be sorry when he sees what you've done to Mexigreenland!"

"Oh, yes, quite," Agnes agreed. "The evil albatross will be QUITE sorry." She... wasn't too sure what was going on, but it felt like it would be wrong to try to stop the flow.

Reno? Was totally there. In clothing that wasn't a unitard and everything.

With his phone out. Smiling, pleasantly.

Filming.

Oh, revenge was sweet.

"Jerry!" Rikku said proudly. "You have come to hear us sing!"

"We are, of course, two lounge singers --"

"And not two clearly insane people."

"We are an a cappella act!"

"Because our pianist had no fingers!"

"We shot him, Jerry! We shot him with avacados!"

"He was spying on us for the government," Rikku said solemnly.

"You gotta be careful of them government spies," Reno agreed amiably, still holding his phone up in plain view. Hey, they were crazy, it wasn't like he was terribly worried they'd figure out that he was, technically, a government spy who was, in fact, spying on them.

To some degree.

"Never know when them pianists are gonna go bad, yo."

"The pigeons are in on it, Jerry," Rikku said firmly.

"We saw them! Talking to the Mafia!"

"The government mafia."

"The worst kind, Jerry! The pigeon mafia!"

"They were tracing our bubble baths."

"I won't go back to prison! I won't!"

"You went to prison, huh? That must've been awful."

He had no idea what exactly prison might be to these guys. He had a sneaking suspicion that it involved many shots in the ass, however.

He was also kind of tentative to poke at either the prison notion too thoroughly, or the talk of an asylum, considering who he was speaking to.

"How's about you tell me more about them pigeons, yo."

Edited 2009-04-10 02:39 (UTC)

"They live on our roof," Alice said brightly.

"They are using the Bolivian robot dogs against us."

"They are all named Steve!"

"They've fired everyone who isn't named Steve."

"We can't join their club, Jerry!"

"As our name is Hildegarde."

Both Jerries were very sad, now.

"Now, is that Hildegarde Jerry, or Jerry Hildegarde?"

Every last second of this, caught on his cameraphone.

Reno loved technology so, so much.

"There's an important distinction between the two, zoto."

Either one. It doesn't matter. They're equally insane. Seriously.

"Behold!" Rikku said, holding up Petey. "The Retarded Oracle Kitten! He can tell the future!"

"He can tell time!" Alice agreed.

"He can tell your grandmother to suck eggs!"

"Suck eggs, grandma!"

Don't you want your future told by a dim cat?

"Heeeey, Petey my man," Reno cooed, reaching over to pet the cat. "You need to be rescued from another gremlin bite, huh?"

Poor thing.

Petey mrowled happily, wrapping himself around Reno's hand. Hi! Heyyyyyy, he was the Oracle today! He could tell fortunes and eat fingers.

Nomnomnomnomnom.

"Would you like to ask him your future?" Rikku offered.

"Actually, I got this policy against seein' the future," Reno decided. Mostly because he really had no idea exactly what letting two crazy girls loose on the cat might entail. "But I'll be happy to let him eat my fingers some more. He likes that, zoto."

"We will inform him, very carefully, not to tell your future," Alice intoned.

Petey, for his part, chewed on Reno's fingers some more and burbled, happily. Hooray! Fiiiiiiiiiiingers.

"He's quite gifted, you know," Rikku said.

"I ain't got no doubt about that," Reno decided.

He knew well enough how skilled at being a dumbshit cat Petey could be.

Cat claws and quality time with the more perky Sizzler Sister here were a very potent teacher.

"Can he tell MY future?" Agnes asked. She'd no doubt they thought he could.

"Yes!" Rikku declared. "He can see all! He knows everything!"

"He knows the lottery numbers!"

"He knows prime numbers!"

"He knows prime rib!"

"He stole it from the butcher!"

"Perhaps they shouldn't leave their lobsters out like that!"

"Did he see the lobsters with his oracular powers?" Agnes asked. "Are there lobsters in my future?"

"Lobsters are in every future," Rikku said, quite seriously.

"Lobsters are the future!"

"Lobsters are the way!"

"Lobsters are the highway!"

"I didn't mean to hit them with my car, Jerry!"

"There was no other way!"

"It is a madhouse, Jerry! A madhouse!"

"You certainly got that right," Agnes agreed. "You're not going to hit this poor CAT with your car, are you?"

They don't need to know the lyrics! They are stylists!

...Oh my god. This means I'm coming up on two years in the game.

JERRIES I MISS YOU!

WE MISS YOU TOO, JERRY.

WE ARE DOING WELL IN TORONTO.

IF WE ARE TAKING OUR MEDS.

JERRY! THE MEDS ARE EATING MY BRAIN!

WE HAVE PROBABLY FLUSHED THE MEDS DOWN THE TOILET BY NOW.

I REMEMBER THEM!

THEY REMEMBER YOU TOO, JERRY!

IF YOU WERE IN THEIR CLASS.

THE ADMINISTRATION LET THEM TEACH, JERRY!

... WE SUSPECT THE ADMINISTRATION WAS ON SOME VERY HARD DRUGS AT THE TIME?

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Third Floor Common Room, Thursday Evening

Listen to the Performance!

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Speak to the Jerries!

Speak to the Retarded Oracle Kitten

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OOC

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