The Deck, Saturday Late Afternoon

[bitchprince]

Last night had been distinctly odd, but how it ended had taken some of the edge off, at least. If Arthur didn't know better, he'd almost even be able to convince himself the day was going to be sort of all right. Or, at least, not completely insane.

Instead, he was going to take a seat on the deck with a bowl of fruit and some bread for a late breakfast. Uther Pendragon taught great lessons about paranoia.

He was just going to be pleased that at least he hadn't wound up sleeping in the preserve last night.

[[ open, especially to any blonde spawn that might want to assault him ]]

Comments

[bitchprince]

Arthur had about enough time to say, "Oh, god," before the tiny blonde dervish impactedon his general vicinity. "You're one of mine."

No, not a question, no.

[tinyblondedeath.livejournal.com]

Morgana grinned up at him, but even the grin looked like the kind you got from someone who was just about to eat you alive. "Mom always says you're kinda dense, but c'mon!"

[bitchprince]

"I'm not dense," he started, more than ready to get very indignant on that count - until he realised he was rising to the bait of a three-year-old. "And who is your mom?"

It was the question of the day.

[thismaskiwear.livejournal.com]

Which, as luck would have it (if by "luck" we mean "the universe hates you all and won't miss an opportunity to prove it"), was about the time Katchoo stepped out onto the deck and flopped into a lounge chair at the far end of it, muttering something caustic about invasions of kids as she lit up a cigarette.

"KEEP IT DOWN OVER THERE, WILL YOU?" she yelled in a voice that sounded a lot like what Morgana's affected growl aspired to be someday.

[bitchprince]

"Right," said Arthur, casting one worried look at the child, then one straight on back to the loud blonde woman in question. "Will you please keep it down?"

[tinyblondedeath.livejournal.com]

Morgana turned around. "NUH UH!" she bellowed back. "I'M NOT GONNA BE QUIET IF YOU NEVER DO, MOM!"

[bitchprince]

...

Arthur looked from the woman (who had a strangely familiar shout to her) to the child and back again and back again.

"What," he said, intelligibly.

[thismaskiwear.livejournal.com]

Katchoo was a little less succinct, even if you discounted the coughing and swearing fit that came when she choked on her cigarette smoke.

"What. The. Frikkin'. HELL."

[bitchprince]

"I don't think I've ever even met you," he informed Katchoo, mostly because he had to voice his complete confusion at someone who might get it.

[thismaskiwear.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, and you're male," Katchoo said, gawking at Morgana. Then at Arthur. Then at Morgana, who was smirking. Hush, the logic worked out just fine to her. "So there's no frikkin' way."

[bitchprince]

"..."

Arthur attempted to make sense of all of that, and found there was a rather sensible logical flaw in all of it. "It would be hard," he said, "To produce a child with you if I wasn't male."

[tinyblondedeath.livejournal.com]

Morgana rolled her eyes. "Oh, great, here we go again. Blah blah blah, impossible, blah blah how the hell, blah blah . . ."

[bitchprince]

"Well, it is impossible," Arthur told the child, who was by far the most frustrating he'd encountered to date. "Considering that we've never met. But that appears to be the word of the day."

[thismaskiwear.livejournal.com]

Katchoo was white-knuckle gripping the armrest of her lounge chair with the hand that wasn't threatening to break her cigarette.

"This island hates me," she griped. "Whose sick joke is this, and can I rip their face off?"

[bitchprince]

"Trust me, if I find out, I'll be more than pleased to help you," Arthur said, with a sort of infinite patience lite. "Can you please sit down?" The child was very, very loud.

[tinyblondedeath.livejournal.com]

"Don't wanna," Morgana grumbled. "I wanna help Mom rip faces off!"

[bitchprince]

"First, we'll eat," Arthur started. Patience. Patience. "Then, we'll see about-- arrangements. Then," he continued, "The three of us can all go and rip faces off."

[thismaskiwear.livejournal.com]

". . . three of us?" Katchoo asked, sitting up and shooting both of them a Look. "Excuse me? Who's dragging me into this?"

[bitchprince]

God help them. He was going to kill every single person on this island for making him deal with this.

"Apparently," Arthur started, "She's your child, too. What, were you planning to leave her out in the cold?"

[tinyblondedeath.livejournal.com]

"She's not gonna do it," Morgana interjected, nonplussed. "She always says she will but she's not as mean as you guys like to let 'em think."

[bitchprince]

Arthur blew out a breath of air. He supposed there was some use to having a child translator on your hand. "We'll leave that up to her, shall we?" he said, in some attempt at tact.

He did have it, you know.

[thismaskiwear.livejournal.com]

Interestingly, it was that comment that did it for Katchoo. People weren't supposed to know that, dammit.

"Hey, keep it down, will ya?" she asked when she came stalking over. "Geez! Nobody needs to know that part!"

[bitchprince]

"Don't worry," Arthur said, dryly (and, really, a little nasally), "Your secret's safe with us."

He had an interesting way of straddling the fence between really camp and really serious.

[thismaskiwear.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, well, as long as I don't hear it on the --"

Katchoo paused and looked at him, now, kind of horrified.

"Aw, hell. You're on radio on Wednesdays. You're -- oh, SONOFABITCH."

[bitchprince]

"...What?" he asked, pointedly. Very pointedly. "I'm Prince Arthur of Camelot, and if that's an insult to my late mother, I'd like you to take it back."