Fifth Floor Common Room, Late Tuesday Night

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

Elena was bored. She was still plowing through paperwork -- Turks didn't back down from challenges, thanks -- but she was going to go crazy if she didn't get some air. So she was going to set up shop in the common room while she typed up reports on her laptop, and she'd find something insane to watch on TV.

... okay, this show about the family with 18 freaking kids, that was pretty insane. She could stare in horror inbetween files. How would you even come up with names, after about twelve? She wondered if the parents could honestly name each of the kids, in a pop quiz.

(Open common room is open! Fun fact: the Duggars just announced that they're expecting #19.)

Comments

[iknowstuff.livejournal.com]

"Hi Elena," Layla said wandering in and flopping on the couch. "That family is a bit freaky, don't you think?"

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

"How are they feeding all of them?" Elena asked, staring at the screen. "I suppose if you have money, you can have as many kids as you want, but ... you'd think at around number fifteen or sixteen, you'd stop having money, anyway."

[iknowstuff.livejournal.com]

"They have no debt, some real estate and a car dealership but... yeah. Someone needs a little surgery in my opinion," Layla said situating herself on the couch so her feet were resting on the back of the sofa and her head was resting on the edge of the seat. "Or maybe take away his viagra."

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

"I don't think he's all that old," she said. "Someone should mail them crates of condoms. With an instructional video, in case that's the problem."

[iknowstuff.livejournal.com]

"Considering how often she gets pregnant I don't think there's enough condoms in the world," Layla smirked. "Besides that could cause a shortage in Fandom. That could be disastrous."

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

"You'd think they'd put contraception right in the water," she grinned. "Here, I mean. Except I imagine some of the adults might actually be trying to have kids."

[iknowstuff.livejournal.com]

"It's not a bad idea really," Layla replied. "Of course that would prevent a whole lot of fun when the alternate universe kids show up."

[likes-chicken.livejournal.com]

"...dude, what the heck are you watching?" Hurley said, entering the common room.

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

"It might be a cult," Elena said. "I haven't ruled that out yet. Barring that, this woman is the most fertile being on this planet."

[likes-chicken.livejournal.com]

"...some of those have to be adopted," Hurley said. "Right?"

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

"They look related," she said. "Maybe they only adopt kids who look like them. Which would be all sorts of creepy, if you think about it."

[likes-chicken.livejournal.com]

"Maybe they're clones," Hurley said. "Or robots!"

He wanted to believe it was fiction.

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

"You'd think clones would be more freakish," she argued, "and robots, more primitive. Maybe they're all actors, pretending to be one large family for a paycheck. If you have piles of auditions, you can cast for certain similarities, right?"

[longislandiceme]

"Hey Ele- whoa," Bobby frowned at the television, and tried to count the number of kids on screen. "Are those all one family?"

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

"Seem to be," Elena said, nodding a greeting to the boy. "I would think they took in some orphans, but they all look like they're related. Which is scary."

[longislandiceme]

"My parents like to remind me all the time how much trouble one kid is," Bobby told her. "I'd hate to imagine how they'd deal with, um..." his mouth moved silently as he tried to count them again. "Seventeen?" Close! In his defense, the oldest kid didn't actually live at home anymore.

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

"So you're an only child?" she asked. "You'd have to think, at some point, that the kids are raising the other kids, instead of the parents. No one has that much free time."

[longislandiceme]

"Uh huh," Bobby nodded. "Even if they both did nothing but look after their kids, which wouldn't explain how they'd have the money to do so in the first place. Unless they're old money or something, I guess."

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

"The rich can afford to be eccentric," she said. "They have to be well-off, or they'd be destitute and handing off some of the kids to local orphanages."

[furnaceface]

It was late. Jonothon felt the distinct need to get the hell out of his room for a while, if only to let Jak have it for the evening without the smell of burning sulphur smelling up the place.

He had fully intended to head up to the roof, to air out or something, but he found himself distracted by the sound of the television down the hall when he made it to the fifth floor.

It was television. Clearly, Jono had to investigate.

//Found something interesting on the telly, have yer?//

It was actually too late at night for him to care what people thought of his telepathy. Score one for fatigue.

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

Elena glanced up, abruptly, when the words entered her mind. Him. The boy from class the other day.

"I don't know about interesting," she said. "Except in the train-wreck sense of the word. This woman is apparently so thrilled with childbirth that, as soon as she hatches one, she has the burning need to spawn another."

[furnaceface]

If Jonothon had more of a face, the expression that he made might have been readable as a kind of disgruntled grimace over the fact that the girl had seemed to jump at his voice. As it stood, it looked more like he was kind of just squinting one eye a little.

Probably for the best, that way.

//And that's the best yer can find at this time of night? There has to at least be a music channel or something if yer keep flippin' the stations.//

Honestly. The amazing baby-factory? No, thank you.

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

"Music channels don't actually play music," Elena said. The sound of his voice had been unexpected, but he was hardly the strangest person she'd seen here. Although, to be honest, the telepathy was a touch jarring. She tried to think normal, bland thoughts, in case he was poking around. "It's crazy, but true. The music channel just shows trashy reality TV shows. Worse ones than the Uterus of Doom. There's some spin-off music channels, but they don't seem to play music, either."

[furnaceface]

//Music channels that don't play music.//

Excuse Jonothon. He had to take a moment to turn a look of pure horror toward Elena, now.

//Yer pulling my leg. Please tell me yer are. I did not just find myself dragged fourteen years into the bleedin' future just to discover that they went and ruined the one thing on the telly that's actually worth watching.//

[findingelena.livejournal.com]

Elena picked up the remote and found her way to the first music channel (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MTV), which seemed to be showing a reality program (http://www.mtv.com/ontv/dyn/is_she_really/series.jhtml) where girls were supposed to dump their loser boyfriends. The next one (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vh1) was airing a program (http://www.realitywanted.com/newsitem/2138-real-chance-of-love-2-back-in-the-saddle-premieres-monday-august-3-at-9pm-on-vh1) where fake-looking bimbos were fighting to win the affections of some guys who looked like they'd fit in just fine on the previous show. The third channel (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MTV2) -- one that claimed to resolve the first channel's issue of not playing music any more -- was airing a show about people beating themselves up in stupid ways (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jackass_%28TV_series%29).

"So ... these channels used to be about music?" Elena asked. "I mean, that would explain the names. It's not like the crappy reality shows are even about music. You'd think there'd be something about someone wanting to be a musician, if they're going to pretend these are music channels."

She tossed down the remote in disgust. "But I'd rather watch the crazy breeding lady than ... well, than this guy stapling his face to a tree. I mean, this is just dumb."