behind the dorms - thursday after classes - 9/10

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

After everything in Ethics, Liir was in a bit of a mood.

The mood wasn't good or bad, precisely, but it was different from his usual busy contentedness. He didn't want to cook, didn't want to bake, didn't want to work on magic or consider the rest of his classwork. The strange thrill that had spiraled up his spine and made his heart pound while talking to the professor was coiled in his stomach now, awake and alive but seemingly content to wait once more.

He wasn't sure he liked it. He wasn't sure it was healthy. He'd been reasonably sure it'd died with Elphaba in her tower over two years ago but then it had shot through him like a lightning bolt, and the strange taste of it at the back of this throat. Well, it wasn't a taste, perhaps; maybe a sensation? He couldn't tell.

All the same, he was outside and he was kicking a soccer ball (a gooseball, if funnily colored) into a tree at different speeds and angles to practice by himself because of it. That had to mean something.

[open, very much so...though I'll have a couple of hours of transit before I pick up tags]

Comments

[trigons_child]

Raven had seen Anakin assign Liir detention and was concerned about her big sib. After class (and before heading out to the beach), she followed after him to see what was wrong and if she could help. "Liir?" she called softly.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

He caught the ball with his foot and turned to look at her, the faint smile on his face automatic more than anything.

"Yes? Oh. Raven, hello."

[trigons_child]

She tried to read his mood, but wasn't sure what to make of it. It wasn't Liir-like, whatever it was. "Are you all right?" she asked.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"I'm well enough," he said with a shrug as he rolled the ball between his feet.

His emotions were tumultuous. He was strangely elated at standing up to an authority figure, but also sad that he'd had to. There was echoes of something older, some primordial Liirness that had awoken after a couple of years of fitful slumber.

"And yourself?"

[trigons_child]

"I am confused," she said, drawing closer. "Why did you challenge Professor Skywalker?"

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"Because I didn't like how he spoke to me," and the answer surprised him, if only because it was honest.

"Nothing I'm not used to, though."

And with that, he sent the ball at the tree again, though not nearly as hard as before.

[trigons_child]

"He is our teacher," Raven said, frowning just a little. "He deserves our respect."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

He turned to look at her for a moment.

"I respect all my teachers. That doesn't mean he gets to snap at me over less than nothing."

[trigons_child]

"What did he say to you?" Raven asked. She hadn't overheard the entire conversation, just the ending when Liir was assigned detention.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

He looked over at her.

"Why do you ask?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

[trigons_child]

"I have spent a great deal of time with Professor Skywalker," Raven said. "I have never seen him be unfair."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"I have spent a great deal of time with someone who acted like he did today," he said with a wry smile.

"And I reacted with nothing but a request for clarity and a cordial manner."

Of course, underneath it had been that strange coil of emotion but that was his business.

[trigons_child]

"You do not feel like yourself, Liir," Raven said. "I am concerned about you."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"Actually," he said as he kicked the ball up onto his knees and finally up into his hands, "I felt more like the person I was for fourteen years than I have since I came here. A different facet of Liirness, I suppose, but Liirness all the same."

[trigons_child]

"Do you think this is a good thing?" Raven asked. She'd become more accustomed to the shifting moods of others, but this one she wasn't so sure about.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"I don't know. I don't know if it can be a good thing or a bad thing," he said as he bounced the ball a couple of times between his hands.

[trigons_child]

"What were you like for those fourteen years?" Raven asked. She drew closer, trying not to think about how Liir had told her about how his vampire self had been what he could have been. It was silly to worry about that. Right?

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"A servant," he said with another bounce, "a bastard" and he thought of explaining that he meant only in the sense of being someone without known parentage but decided to leave it up to her as to his meaning there "an unwanted lump to be passed around like a spoon of peas no one wants to eat. Desperate. Passionate. Outspoken, even if there was no one to speak to."

He bounced it again.

"I don't know. You can't really describe yourself. Just what you hope you are. Adjectives are for other people to use on you. Against you. Whichever you like."

[trigons_child]

"You are not unwanted here," Raven said, zeroing in on that because that she understood. "You should not feel like that."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

He looked over at her.

"I didn't say I thought I was. You asked me what I was like for fourteen years."

Another bounce and return.

"I told you. It's more than I say to most. After a while, it gets very tiring to have everyone think you're depressing."

[trigons_child]

"And you said you felt more like that person," Raven pointed out. "And I do not think you are depressing."

She felt at a loss as to what to say to him, so she simply said, "I just wanted to make certain you were all right."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"Would you like to hear I'm all right?" he asked her, sounding tired.

"Because I am. I am all right. There's nothing wrong with me."

[trigons_child]

"Very well," Raven said. "I am sorry to have bothered you then."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"You didn't bother me," he insisted firmly.

"You don't ever have to apologize for coming to see me or stopping me on the street or making me pause in between a game of gooseball with myself."

There was even a ghost of a smile on his face there.

[trigons_child]

She managed a smile back. "I will not do so again, then," she said. She paused a moment, then suggested, "Perhaps if you apologize to Professor Skywalker, he will change his mind about detention."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

His expression didn't so much harden as stiffen, the smile turning brittle and breaking, in a way, at his eyes.

"I don't intend to apologize for doing nothing wrong. And I don't mind about the detention anyway. But thank you for the suggestion."

[trigons_child]

Raven sighed mentally. She'd been afraid he would have that reaction, but she had to ask.

"Have a good afternoon, Liir," she said. Maybe she'd find Joan and ask her if she had an idea what was going on. "I think I am going to go for a walk on the beach, but I am certain I will see you soon."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

He had a feeling he'd failed her somehow, but he dismissed it as something he could do nothing about and nodded to her.

"Good afternoon, Raven. Enjoy the beach. You know where to find me, of course."

[17andinfected.livejournal.com]

Shilo was worried. So she was out walking around the dorm, dwelling on her worry.

And then she rounded the corner and saw Liir. And cocked her head to one side. "What are you doing?"

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"Practicing."

And it almost sounded cheerful if you didn't catch the darker note in his tone.

"Gooseball. Soccer."

[17andinfected.livejournal.com]

"I didn't know we had a soccer team," Shilo replied, missing the note.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

That made him smile, a bit more genuinely.

"We don't. I used to play it in the Emerald City. Gooseball, which is a simpler version of the game."

[17andinfected.livejournal.com]

"Oh, okay," Shilo said. "How is it simpler?"

Anything that took her mind off the fact that Momoko was still gone would make Shilo happy right now.

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"Less rules, I guess. And no goalies. Also, a much smaller goal, specifically a gooseberry basket."

He juggled the ball between his knees a few times before popping it up on his head to land in his hands.

"The field is also smaller."

[17andinfected.livejournal.com]

"Wow, you're good," she replied, as he juggled the ball. "Is it hard to learn?"

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

"I wouldn't say so, since I learned it, but I also wouldn't say it's easy. And hunger is very good motivation, after all."

He smiled again.

"Would you like to learn?"

[17andinfected.livejournal.com]

"Sure," Shilo replied. "Hold on, though."

She bent down and removed her boots, and then tossed them and her bag aside. Now three inches shorter, she said, "Okay, let's go."

[new-to-liirness.livejournal.com]

He grinned as he passed the ball to her.

"First you have to get comfortable with it, how it moves, how heavy it is, how it feels, how it moves."

[17andinfected.livejournal.com]

She pushed it back and forth between her feet for a moment. "It's lighter than I thought it would be," she replied.