deck | early evening | saturday | september 12

[see-beyond.livejournal.com]

In the Community, going out after certain hours hadn't been permitted save for the those with Assignments that required it. Even being three years removed from that place, it still took Jonas a few weeks to realize that he could go out and stay out without the fear of punishment.

There were so many things he knew he could be doing or could be learning but, tonight, he found himself just staring up at the darkening sky. It was overcast but the clouds still captivated him in ways that might seem mundane to almost everyone else. It was amazing to him how they moved, changed shape and combined with each other so effortlessly.

Jonas hoped he might see stars later, when the sky grew dark, but watching the clouds was all right with him for the moment. The book he'd brought lay unopened next to him, ready if the clouds grew boring. Jonas didn't see that happening though.

[the deck's open!]

Comments

[provostsdog.livejournal.com]

She wrinkled her nose. "Your community has a lot of rules," she remarked.

[see-beyond.livejournal.com]

"Yes," he said, able to realize that now. "It's been an adjustment to realize that not every place is like that."

[provostsdog.livejournal.com]

"But a good one?" she asked. "Tis a strange thing to make rules about."

[see-beyond.livejournal.com]

"A good one, yes," he agreed with a slow nod. "Sometimes, I feel a little helpless without rules but I'm learning to ask and adjust to those times. It's gotten better."

[provostsdog.livejournal.com]

Coming from the Lower City, it was difficult for her to imagine. There were rules, but they'd naught to do with such small things that mattered so little.

"I'd have thought it'd be easier to go from a lot of rules to fewer," she mused. "Did they do it to make you all look the same?"

[see-beyond.livejournal.com]

"I think so." No, he knew so. Sameness was the way, after all. "I mean, of course, we didn't all look exactly the same but we looked similar in hair and clothing style. As you got older, you received new clothes and new haircuts to show your age progression."

[provostsdog.livejournal.com]

Beka shook her head. "Didn't anyone tell them it's boring to all be the same?"

[see-beyond.livejournal.com]

"I doubt it," Jonas replied, shaking his head. He was sure insubordination like that would have been dealt with swiftly. "It was done for the benefit of the people, I suppose. The reasons why escape me though."

[provostsdog.livejournal.com]

"They escape me too," she said honestly. "We're not meant to be the same. Not even when we're dressed alike."

[see-beyond.livejournal.com]

And even in that place, Jonas had turned off differently than all the rest. He could see in color, he'd been Selected, he'd escaped. It was always heady to realize that.

"The Elders disagreed," he said and then added, "but I don't."

[provostsdog.livejournal.com]

She smiled at him. "You should know since you weren't." She sounded confident.

[see-beyond.livejournal.com]

"I wasn't," he agreed, still somewhat surprised by that fact. It was the complete truth, absolutely, but he'd lived with the knowledge that he wasn't for so long. "And I can hope that I'm one of the first that discovers that."

[provostsdog.livejournal.com]

She nodded, growing more thoughtful. "Do you think there'd be a way to show them?"

[see-beyond.livejournal.com]

"It would mean...going back and I don't think I can," he said, casting his eyes down.

[always! sleep well!]

[provostsdog.livejournal.com]

She watched him for a moment, taking in his words. "Would it be dangerous for you?"

[see-beyond.livejournal.com]

"Yes," he said without hesitation. "I wasn't supposed to leave in the first place. Going back would be dangerous for me."

[provostsdog.livejournal.com]

She nodded and glanced down at her hands. "That must be hard to accept," she said softly, thinking of his family.

[see-beyond.livejournal.com]

"It had to be done," he said, not really answering the question but giving something. "I couldn't stay."

[provostsdog.livejournal.com]

She nodded, she wouldn't want to stay either in a place like that. "So how did you end up here?" she asked, hoping it would steer him away from a subject that was making him uncomfortable.

[see-beyond.livejournal.com]

"The place I was before this but after leaving the Community, they told me about this school," he explained slowly. "Their schools were good, don't get me wrong, but they thought a broader curriculum might be helpful. So, I came."

[provostsdog.livejournal.com]

"And you're not disappointed yet?" she asked lightly.

[see-beyond.livejournal.com]

"I don't know what I am yet," he said and smiled. "I'm just figuring that out."

[provostsdog.livejournal.com]

Beka pulled her legs up in the chair, resting her chin on her knees. "Let me know when you do, mayhap I'll be able to figure it out then too."

[see-beyond.livejournal.com]

"Unsure of yourself too?" Jonas asked quietly.

[provostsdog.livejournal.com]

She nodded, the fabric of her jeans felt strange under her fingertips. "Tis an interesting world," she admitted, "but it'd be too easy to forget what it's like being a Dog."

It'd been worrying her, but she'd never let the thought form fully, let alone speak it out loud.