Second Floor Common Room, Tuesday Afternoon

[endsthegame]

To say that Ender was Not Amused when he came home from classes to find all of Karla's books (as well as his copy of the Complete Works of Shakespeare, his books by Nietzsche and Kant and other philosophers, and any number of biology texts) reduced to romantic drivel would be a severe understatement. His laptop was not a credible alternative because he was still trying to come up with a good way to deal with Jane, and so the only option left to Ender was to head into the common room, and at least hope there were some good documentaries on.

"Oh, you have to be kidding me," he said, when the 111th channel also turned out to be playing... something by Jane Austen? No, even that was too much to hope.

This was not his week.

[[ open! ]]

Comments

[endsthegame]

Ender shot a glance after her as she went. "Sometimes, even I like to rage against the dying of light," he said, dryly. "And it's not me I'm worried about. Karla, don't you think maybe it's time to take cooking lessons...?"

Look at him, taking one for the team.

[glacial_queen]

"I have!" Karla said happily, opening up a bag of flour and adding three heaping cups to the largest mixing bowl. "I'm taking Home Ec this semester and Magic of Baking a few semesters ago, and possibly another cooking class, but I'm not sure."

Therefore, she was almost an expert.

"Hmmm...should I add another cup, you think?" she asked, looking at the mixing bowl closely. "Or should I move onto sugar? Or--oooh, I should decide what kind of cookies I'm making first."

[endsthegame]

In other words, the universe seemed to be telling Ender, suit up and get in there or bear responsibility for the consequences.

Well, it's not like there's anything on TV at the moment, he told himself, and got up. "I think a recipe would be a good place to start."

On the bright side, at least Ben wasn't helping her?

[glacial_queen]

Ender's universe was a pessimist. The only possible consequences of Karla's attempts at baking would be Wesley getting a delicious thank you for his help.

It was possible that Karla's universe had several gaping blind spots.

"You can pick one while I start cracking eggs?" Karla suggested, using her chin to point to the book resting on the counter. A convenient paper bag was resting on the top of it, obscuring the cover from view. "Sometimes I need a little practice before it works."

[endsthegame]

And many of those gaping blind spots were located in roughly the same area.

"Just don't put any new eggs in the bowl until I've found one," Ender said, reaching for the recipe book...

...which had just conveniently changed into a young adult gay romance novel. "Oh, bloody kuso."

[glacial_queen]

"I won't," Karla promised. "I leaned to always crack eggs into a different bowl so I can pick out most of the shells."

Most being the operative word.

Though she had an excuse for breaking the first egg poorly as she glanced over to Ender who was...cursing out her cookbook. "What? Did you...find an awful cookie recipe or something?"

She was kind of at a loss, here.

[endsthegame]

Without another word, Ender held the book up for her.

"This day is officially a loss."

[glacial_queen]

Karla suddenly had to pay very close attention to her eggs. She most certainly was not snickering, and Ender should just ignore the way her shoulders were shaking.

"Perhaps I, umm, should have picked out the recipe," she said, voice a little choked. "But it's okay! We'll just improvise!"

Karla was quite capable of taking a bad thing and making it worse.

[endsthegame]

Ender pressed both of his hands briefly to his eyes. "No, Karla," he said, "No, we are most definitely not going to improvise. I don't know how to cook, and you definitely don't."

[glacial_queen]

"But you changed the book," Karla protested. "So we can't use it to get a recipe! What else are we supposed to do?"

Obviously, the answer 'stop cooking' was not an option. Obviously, Ender.

[endsthegame]

"You could try going to Turtle and Canary and buying cookies," Ender suggested. "That tends to work."

[glacial_queen]

"Not for a thank you," Karla said. "They have to be special."

[endsthegame]

"Inedible is not the same thing as special," Ender said, shoving the book Karla's way. "Karla, I think last time there were pine nuts."

[glacial_queen]

"Okay, first of all, that was one of my very first attempts," Karla pointed out, trying not to roll her eyes. "I've gotten better since then!"

Not appreciably, no.

"Also, pine nuts are really good! Who says they can't be in cookies?"

[endsthegame]

"Any cook worth his salt," Ender said, flatly. "I've also made ice cream with you before. No cooking without supervision, Karla. Or a decent recipe. Which you follow."

[glacial_queen]

"Well, I have supervision," Karla reminding, clinging stubbornly to that 'or' there while she meditated on the difference between the box of baking soda and the container of baking powder. Which was which, again? "Very cranky supervision, but supervision nonetheless."

So nyah.

[endsthegame]

"I haven't volunteered to supervise you," Ender said, feeling a headache coming on. "I don't even know how to cook."

However, he was miles better than Ben and Karla at following a recipe. That should probably worry people.

[glacial_queen]

"It's easy," Karla said, never loathe to offer encouragement. "You just mix everything up and throw it into the oven!"

That could hardly be a terrible plan or anything!

"Oh, I should preheat the oven. And only to 350 degrees, because cookies don't bake faster when you cook them at a higher temperature. They just burn."

Look at that, ladies and gentlemen. Actual progress.

[endsthegame]

And Ender would be proud of it, too, if she wasn't currently trying to go into about fifty other cooking sins. "You mix everything up according to a certain blueprint," he said, "You can't just throw together all the ingredients you like and hope for the best."

[glacial_queen]

"I'm not just tossing in anything," Karla retorted. For one thing, there were no pine nuts anywhere. "But I've baked cookies before. I know what goes into them."

It was what shouldn't that kind of stymied her.

"And if you're so concerned about my cookies, you can remember that no one's going to force you to eat them," she added, a touch crossly. "They're for someone else."

Who would soon learn the perils of being a good Samaritan.

[endsthegame]

"And they have to be special," Ender said, throwing his hands up. "Fine. I'll help you poison whoever it is."

It just wouldn't be his fault. Seriously, not his fault.

[glacial_queen]

"I'm not going to be poisoning anyone," Karla said. "Mother Night, I am a Black Widow, after all. If we're going to poison someone, it would be deliberate and I have no reason to hurt Wesley. I'm thanking him."

She pushed the bowl of eggs (and shells) at Ender, along with several dozen more. She at least knew how likely she'd be to go through a few before she got anything usable.

"Start cracking," she said. "I need four. No, five. I'm going to double the recipe."

[endsthegame]

"One, you don't have a recipe," Ender said, sighing as he washed his hands and then started fishing for bits of egg shell, "Two, doubling it is a little beyond our abilities."

It was futile. He was Ender. He was putting up a fight anyway.

[glacial_queen]

This time, Karla did toll her eyes. "You know what I mean. I never get enough batter to make twenty-four cookies anyway, so I'm doubling all the measurements."

She pulled out several pounds of butter and a pint of heavy cream. Because creaming the butter was a phrase she'd run into several times.

The fact that one usually did it into sugar, not flour, was beyond her. As was the actual definition of the phrase.

[endsthegame]

"What," Ender said, as he succesfully managed to keep a long-suffering sigh in, "is the cream for."