Fourth Floor Common Room, Thursday Evening, The Barry Gibb Talk Show

[onapalebicycle.livejournal.com]

The fourth floor common room had been transformed. Do not ask how the best talk show hosts ever had found a disco ball to hang from the ceiling, one that showed off their matching white double-breasted pantsuits. They were here to sing about politics and chew bubble gum, and they were all out of gum.

There were chairs arranged in a semi-circle, for the important political guests, brothers Barry Gibb and Robin Gibb (also known as the surviving two thirds of the best effing band ever, the Bee Gees) faced away from the studio audience. As if on cue, Barry and Robin spun around, and began to sing.

"Here we are
In a room full of strangers
Discussing politics
And the issues of the day
Well, I want to talk to you
Though you may not want me to
I'm still gonna talk to you
I don't care what you say

Talkin' it up
On the Barry Gibb talk show
Talkin' bout issues
Talkin' bout real important issues
Talkin' it up
On the Barry Gibb talk show
Talkin' bout politics
In this crazy, crazy town
Oh yeah
Yeah yeah
Yeah yeah"

So maybe George and Squall had been gremlin-bit earlier this evening and thought they were washed-up disco superstars now hosting a belligerent talk show about politics. That might be cool, too.

(There will be OCD for this. OCD UP! Come be a guest on the show, or a member of the studio audience, or stand in the back with a camera! JOIN US.)

Comments

Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

[onapalebicycle.livejournal.com]

Ping into this thread if you'd like to be a guest on the Barry Gibb Talk Show.

This means that Barry will ask you relevant political questions of the day and threaten you with bodily harm for your answers. Not because they are wrong, but because he is Barry Effin Gibb.

Also, he'll assume that you're some political figure or pundit that Squall-mun and I pick entirely at random, unless you have a preference, in which case mention it OOC and we'll roll with it, zomg.

Also, Robin and Barry will sing the person's name as an intro. Which is why one of you is going to be Cruz Bustamante.

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

[cant-be-helped.livejournal.com]

It had been a somewhat troubling day in class, which had led to Dorothy Gale forging out to find some sort of good company that evening. The poor girl had no idea what she was in for when she came into that common room some two floors above her own.

"Hello?" she said, trying to politely interrupt. She was hoping to make friends.

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

"La-dies and gent-le-men," Barry announced in a staccato voice that wasn't quite falsetto, wasn't quite singing, and wasn't anything at all like the real Barry Gibb's actual speaking voice. "Our first guest to-night -- tonight, oh, tonight -- is the governor of South Car-o-li-na -- LI-NA -- Nikki Haley."

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

[onapalebicycle.livejournal.com]

"Nikki Ha-ley, Ha-ley, South Car-o-li-na, LI-NA, yeah, yeah!" Robin chorused behind Barry, harmonizing perfectly.

Okay, Robin was a little flat. They should have rehearsed the name intros.

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

[cant-be-helped.livejournal.com]

Dorothy looked around, slightly confused. "My name is Dorothy," she said, completely uncertain as to what exactly was happening. "And I certainly am too young to be governor of any state, let alone one I've never been to."

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

"Are you contradicting me?!!" Barry shouted, no longer staccato but still in that almost-falsetto voice. He waved his hands at her threateningly and started to stand up from his chair. "On my own show?!?! Do you know who I AM?!! I'm Barry Effin' Gibb!!!"

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

[onapalebicycle.livejournal.com]

Robin facepalmed sadly from behind Barry. "Don't," he said.

Which one he was addressing was a complete mystery. Possibly both of them.

It wasn't like Robin ever said much, on the show. Not even when Barry pleaded with him to talk.

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

[cant-be-helped.livejournal.com]

Dorothy decided to take a seat, against her better judgment. "I don't mean to contradict you, no," she said. "I also didn't know who you were. It is nice to meet you, Barry."

She didn't curtsy as she was seated. And she actually was not thinking it was so nice to meet him.

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

Crisis averted for the moment, "Barry" straightened his jacket, sat back down, and puffed out his chest. "Well," he said. "Well, that's better. Now, Gov-er-nor Hay-ley, tell us your thoughts on the Re-pub-li-can primary."

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

[onapalebicycle.livejournal.com]

Robin, who was largely useless except as back-up vocals, chose that moment for another harmonizing assist.

"Pri-hi-hi-hi, pri-mary race, pri-mary race. Pri-hi-hi-hi, pri-mary race, pri-mary race."

It wasn't ripping off "Stayin' Alive" if you wrote "Stayin' Alive."

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

[cant-be-helped.livejournal.com]

"I don't really think I have any," Dorothy said. This was all so very strange. She was not only from a different time, but didn't pay much heed to politics in her own time.

"I don't think I even know what a primary is, actually. So it would be hard to have an opinion without knowing anything."

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

"You're... you're Governor of South Carolina and you have no clue how politics work. How typical. Typical of Americans and your complete..." He trailed off, and then stood up and yelled again. "Do you know who I am? I'm BARRY EFFIN' GIBB! I grew up on the streets of Sydney!" He started flailing around with kicks that looked vaguely kung-fu-ish and vaguely dance-like but mostly stupid. "I'm from effin' AUSTRALIA, where men are men and women are men and politicians better know their stuff or we'll EFF THEM UP!!! You wouldn't last TEN MINUTES there!!! A koala would eat you in the EFFING AIRPORT!!!"

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

[onapalebicycle.livejournal.com]

Robin jumped up so he could turn Barry's insane ramblings into a neat little riff.

"Eat-en by ko-alas, in the air-port! Eat-en! By ko-alas! In the air-port! (Right in the air-port!) In the air-port! (Right in the air-port!) Eat-en right in the air-port! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!"

Robin was totally pulling his weight as cohost. Really.

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

[wwiii]

Warren had been heading up to the roof so that he could get out and stretch his wings. After all, the last thing he really wanted after discussing his father was to be cooped up all night, January out there or not.

You better believe he was taking the detour when he heard the singing.

He had his phone out and recording even as he stepped through the door into the common room. So sue him.

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

"And here we have our next guest, for-mer Lieu-ten-nant Gov-er-nor of Cal-i-forn-ia, Cruz Bustamante!" He turned to his co-host. "Robin, shall we sing in Cruz Bust-a-man-te?"

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

[onapalebicycle.livejournal.com]

"I guess," Robin said, displaying the same complete lack of attention or care that he showed everything that wasn't, well, singing. He perked right up once the tune began (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfxnRhNJLkA).

"Cruuuuuuuuz Bus-ta-man-te. Talkin' bout Cru-huu-huuuuuuz Bus-ta-man-te. Yeah! (Yeah!)"

When the song was finished, he slumped back in his seat again.

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

[wwiii]

Oooh yeah. They were so gremlinned. Warren grinned a little as he made his way over to the pair.

"That's me, huh?"

He loved gremlin bites. Especially ones that didn't end up with him prancing around in his underwear.

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

"Well, it WAS you. Your re-su-me's been a lit-tle light since you got your BEHIND handed to you by the Gov-er-na-tor -- he'll be back, yeah!" Barry leaned forward, very interested in his guest. "So, tell us, Cruz Bust-a-man-te -- Bustamante! -- what you've been up to?"

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

[onapalebicycle.livejournal.com]

"He'll be back, he'll be back, he'll be back!" chorused Robin.

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

[wwiii]

Warren had no idea what the former governor of California had been up to.

This was not going to stop Warren from coming up with an answer as he made himself comfortable on a nearby seat.

"Oh, you know. Mostly I've been working on my plot to send an assassin robot back in time to kill Arnold's mother so that he can never usurp my position as governor," he replied. Casually. "Except on Tuesdays and Thursdays, when I go golfing with Patrick Swayze."

Who was dead. But that hardly mattered.

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

"You've got a time-travelling assassin robot?" Barry asked, fascinated. "You, Cruz Bustamante, have a time-travelling assassin robot?" He turned to Robin. "Why don't I have an assassinbot?!?! I'm Barry effin' Gibb! I grew up on the streets of Sydney!!! I ate the still-beating heart of Paul Hogan and absorbed his effing Dundee-powers!!! I'm BARRY EFFIN' GIBB and I want a robot!!!"

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

[onapalebicycle.livejournal.com]

Robin gave that question the long, lingering silence it deserved, as he pondered the many theoretical and metaphysical implications of it.

"I dunno," he said, finally. "Why d'you want one?"

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

Barry stood up and did a series of kung-fu kicks and karate chops. "BECAUSE I'M BARRY EFFIN' GIBB!!!"

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

[wwiii]

"It seems to me, Barry Gibb, that you're pretty dangerous yourself," Warren offered, kind of inching away from those kung-fu kicks because, gremlin bite or not, Squall was the trained assassin here, and he didn't want to get smacked or something.

Not that he wouldn't get better, but still.

"And, as my good friend Leonardo da Vinci always said to me..." Uh... "Don' scossa di t gli spaghetti. Which means..."

'Don't kick the spaghetti' in what was probably horribly mutilated Italian.

"... Barry effin' Gibb is too awesome for assassin robots."

Re: Barry Gibb Talk Show: Guests

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

"Leonardo da Vinci talked to you about me? About how awesome I am?" Barry was flattered, and he showed it by rubbing the part of his chest exposed by his v-necked shirt in a sexual way. "Le-o-nar-do! Le-o-nar-do! Cowabunga, yeah!"