Second Floor Common Room, Sunday Morning

[endsthegame]

Ever since the broadcast on Monday showcasing Daala's brutal violent response to slave uprisings, Ender had been busy: busy writing emails, busy coordinating with his people in Ben's universe, busy privately worrying about where all of this would lead - with or without him.

But eventually he'd run out of things to do, as impossible as it had seemed at the start of the week. Somehow, that message hadn't quite reached his brain, for he still felt jittery and concerned; keeping a lid on it around Ben had just made it worse.

So in an effort to calm down, he decided to hit up the common room for breakfast today. Got two packages of microwavable pancakes out of the fridge and opened them up, using his deft microwaving skills to produce a stack - mostly in hopes of luring in someone to talk to.

Unlike certain people of his acquaintance, he didn't actually care much about the taste of his breakfast.

[[ open! ]]

Comments

[endsthegame]

"I'm sure some therapists would argue that going back to your childhood's better therapy in the long run," Ender said, "But I think I'd rather be vapid for a day, too."

Mind, his childhood was more than averagely traumatic. Also he was terribly unfond of therapists.

[life_inshadow]

Tara scrunched her nose at that. "Maybe," she allowed. "It's just -- I didn't really like being a kid the first time. You feel kind of powerless."

[endsthegame]

Ender produced a slight smile.

"And here commercials and feel-good TV try to convince us that the typical childhood's a time of innocence," he said. "Powerless is a better word."

Not that he had any clue past said feel-good TV as to what a typical childhood was even like.

[life_inshadow]

"Maybe the powerlessness goes with the innocence, kind of?" Tara decided. "... or maybe I'm just projecting, 'cause I wasn't that happy as a kid. It seems to m-make most people happy."

[endsthegame]

"No, I think I like being an adult a little better, myself," Ender said, the corner of his mouth quirking up more. "What was it like for you, growing up? If you don't mind me asking?"

[life_inshadow]

Tara shook her head. "My dad was really hard on me," she explained, and her tone was calm but she was averting her eyes. "He, um ... he liked to tell me and my mom that the magic was because we were part demon. I don't know if my mom really believed it or if s-she was just ... too sad to argue. I didn't find out it wasn't true until after I came here."

She pushed her hair back, finally glanced up. "What was it like for you?"

[endsthegame]

"I spent most of it in military school," Ender said vaguely. He inclined his head towards her. "So what was it like for you during the moments when it was just you and your mother?"

[life_inshadow]

"Like anybody with their mom, I guess," Tara said, perhaps a bit vaguely. "She was incredible and I love her, I just wish ..."

She let the sentence trail off. "Weren't you young for military school?"

[endsthegame]

"Not in my time," Ender said. "Six was about the usual age for the school I went to."

He took a bite of his pancake. "You wish she'd fought harder?" he asked. "Or questioned your father's presumptions?"

[life_inshadow]

"Six?" was all Tara said, though she was thinking the war Ender had grown up during must have been especially bad, if they needed soldiers that young.

She was distracted by the question, either way. "I wish she'd fought, yeah," she finally said. "It's not -- checking wouldn't be that hard a spell to do to. But I guess ... she heard it so often it started being true for her." She shrugged. "Either way, I really think she did her best."

[endsthegame]

He nodded. "She probably did," he said, "Or at least the best she thought she could. At least she provided you with some shelter, right?"

[life_inshadow]

"She did," Tara agreed eagerly, and stirred her tea. "It was ... probably softer than you had it, anyhow."

[endsthegame]

"Maybe, maybe not," Ender said vaguely. "It doesn't really matter, anyway. Before school, I had the joy of being the youngest child, and afterwards, there was this place."

[life_inshadow]

"Huh," Tara said thoughtfully. "Being younger has never bugged me? I mean, my brother's a jerk, but how old he is is not why he's a jerk."

[endsthegame]

"My brother was a jerk, too," Ender said, cracking a smile to insinuate he'd been mostly exaggerating and joking around. "Either way, like I said, it doesn't matter all that much. It just means I'm glad to be the age I am, not the age I was."

[life_inshadow]

"Strange how they don't really grow out of jerkdom," Tara said, going with that smile. "And yeah, being officially an adult is not a bad thing. Like, at all."

[endsthegame]

Ender's smile became somewhat more genuine, and he added, "So are you clear on what you're going to do with your adulthood once you're done here?"

[life_inshadow]

"The University of California system is considering my applications," Tara said. "Warren's applying there for until Karla graduates, too. I'm ... not exactly clear on what happens after college, but that'll give me four years to figure it out, right?"

[endsthegame]

"I think that's what college is actually meant for," Ender admitted. "Four years to play at being an adult and figure out what works. Or so I'm told."

[life_inshadow]

"And my first school is in a place ... kind of like Fandom," Tara said. "So, it might be insane if I get in, but it won't be boring."

She was going to get in. UC-Sunnydale was not exactly in a position to reject still-breathing applicants.

"You're skipping it?"

[endsthegame]

"I already have a job waiting for me when I graduate," Ender said, "So that decision's already been made. Do you have any idea what you want to major in?"

[life_inshadow]

Tara shook her head. "I put sociology on the form, but ... that's as far as I got. And I only picked that because I don't think I'll hate it."

But given the number of things she'd ruled out because she knew she'd hate them, that wasn't a bad place to start.

"What kind of job?"

[endsthegame]

"I'm being jettisoned into space to serve as a governor for one of our new colonies in a couple of years," Ender said lightly, and took another bite of his pancake.

[life_inshadow]

"No, really --" Tara started to say, snorting, then had that awkward moment where she realized he was not kidding at all.

"Oh!" she said. "Wow ... Are you excited?"

[endsthegame]

"Interested," Ender said. "We've only recently been able to colonize any planets at all. Lots to learn, lots to do."