Fifth Floor Common Room, Wednesday evening

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

After work, Jessica was still trying to deal with the fact that she tasted like SPAM. It displeased her so much that she felt the strong need to grab some food from the common room that would allow her poor tastebuds to focus on something else.

The fact that there was a cake with seven candles in it for some reason seemed like karma. Or justice. Or dumb luck. Or like an opportunity to make a seven year old cry. But since the odds of that last one being true seemed small, Jessica took a piece of cake. And it tasted pretty great. Like karmic justice. And definitely not SPAM.

[OOC: Common room is open and cake is wonderful!]

Comments

[dirtiest-skank.livejournal.com]

"Well, as long as it's a solemn swearing," Olive conceded.

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"The other swearing option was just dropping f-bombs, and I'm classier than that," Jessica joked.

[dirtiest-skank.livejournal.com]

"My delicate ladylike ears wouldn't have been able to take it, anyway," Olive replied. "Thank you for sparing me."

Lies. Olive was like unto a sailor at times.

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"Hey, anything I can do to shelter another classy lady, I'll do it. Unless it's unladylike, of course," Jessica said.

[dirtiest-skank.livejournal.com]

"Well, naturally. Speaking of indelicate, unladylike questions," Olive said, "did you happen to notice that you taste like something today? Because it's apparently going around."

She was curious. She'd totally ask people about their flavors. Was that rude?

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"Spam. I taste like spam," Jessica sighed. "That's why I deserve this cake."

"... What do you taste like today?"

[dirtiest-skank.livejournal.com]

"Not spam," Olive said, wincing. "Oh god, I'm so sorry. I taste like oranges. Which, no offense, is a lot better than spam."

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"The only offense I take is that whatever power made people taste like stuff decided I was spam," Jessica said. "Oranges is infinitely better than spam."

[dirtiest-skank.livejournal.com]

"Marsie -- Sia, I mean, is champagne," Olive noted. "And she's not even getting a buzz off it so I don't know who decided on that one, either. They seem kind of arbitrary."

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"They sound mean," Jessica said. "To me specifically. Can't one other person be liver or something?"

[dirtiest-skank.livejournal.com]

"I haven't heard about anyone tasting like liver," Olive noted, "but I'm sure someone is. Someone also awesome, and not gross, like spam or liver. Your flavor doesn't have to mean anything bad."

This was her trying to be a good friend.

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

Actually, Jessica was fairly sure that the spam taste was a universal joke about not what she was like, but what she actually was. Thanks, universe!

"Thank you for saying that. But I wasn't taking it as a judgment on me as a person. I'm just saying, it's a jerk thing to do to anyone. Spam? Really?"

[dirtiest-skank.livejournal.com]

"I don't think I've ever even had spam," Olive admitted. "I probably wouldn't know it if I came across the flavor, at all."

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"You're not licking me to find out what it tastes like," Jessica warned.

[dirtiest-skank.livejournal.com]

"Killjoy," Olive decided.

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

"Sorry, but licking privileges are reserved for only very specific kinds of friends," Jessica said.