fandomhighdorms | Second Floor Common Room, Saturday Evening

Okay, so Sparkle had attempted to detach the velcro-cat several times on Thursday, to no avail. And on Friday, he'd been kind of flattered that the little black blob of clingy kitten had stuck around, but kind of concerned all the same. It wasn't as though he knew how to take care of a pet, after all. He'd fed it a can of tuna, gave it some water, and took it outside to do its business a few times, because it wasn't like he owned a litterbox or anything.

When Velcro was still around this morning, he'd relented. Even used some of the money he'd been saving from working at Demon Marcus to get cat supplies that morning, because... well, if it was going to stick around, it was probably a good idea to keep it from crapping in his laundry pile or something.

The thing was, Velcro didn't seem to like the crunchy cat-kibble things that Sparkle had bought. A bit of a piss-off, since he didn't have all that much money in the first place, but hey, that was what common room food was for, at least until he could wean the little guy off of people-food. A rummage through the cupboards, at least, yielded some canned food that the kitten did seem to like.

"Hah! Cats do too eat ham!"

Why did Fandom let Sparkle keep the cat, again?

[OOC: Open common room is open, and all Sparkle threads will be fuelled by the power of chocolate-covered espresso beans. Fear.]

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"I figured it was a pretty apt name," Sparkle replied, maybe a little dryly as he pulled both of his hands away from the kitten and it... continued to hang there, from the front of his shirt. "And I don't know, maybe sometimes cats need to have baths, too? I mean around here when random sunscreen falls from the sky or whatever, you really want your cat licking its ass when it's covered in that crap?"

"Name just stuck?" Richie asked with a smirk. It was there. He had to.

"And no. I don't want a cat licking anything that falls from the sky around here off any body parts. Too much weird crap."

Wah-waaah.

"So, there you go. Bathing cats," Sparkle replied, amused. "But my earlier point stands. If cats don't want to get wet, and all they apparently eat is fish, how the hell are they supposed to catch it themselves when they go feral? I mean, shit, cities are full of strays, and I don't see them hanging out at like backyard fish ponds waiting for a carp to swim by so they can dive in after it."

"Carp are kinda big," Richie pointed out. "And looking pathetic outside a store or in an alley is a lot easier. Or dumpster diving."

"Maybe what we need to do is stock ponds full of tiny fishes in a few back alleys so the strays can catch their dinners." He grinned. "Added bonus, we make some lovely tiny urban parks."

"Hate to say it, man, but there's really nothing 'urban' about this place. Unless you wanted to, like, go and pretty up Baltimore."

Which... hey, Sparkle would be game for digging up Baltimore and planting random fish stocks in weird places. Why not?

Richie snorted. "Yeah, I didn't mean here. Here we can just stock the duck pond with some tiny fishies and send the cats their way."

"Think Baltimore needs tiny ponds in their alleys? I've never been there, but it might be a fun field trip. Just carry some shovels and bags of pet store fish. Nothing suspicious there at all, right?"

"Yeah, I dunno. I've been to Baltimore, like, twice. And once was me just sitting in the Portalocity waiting area for the shuttle to show up, so... woo?"

See how much Baltimore excited Sparkle. Oh yeah.

"There's a place with shawarma that doesn't suck, though. Bet they wouldn't mind a fish pond near them."

No, Sparkle. No.

"We could start small," Richie suggested. "Start leaving fish bowls lying around in alleys, work our way up to aquariums and then ponds."

Richie, this conversation is just getting weird now.

"Aquatic vandalism. For a cause."

"Ponds are going to be the tough ones, of course. Unless the alleys we're putting them in have a garden hose or something. How else are we going to fill the damn things?"

Sparkle was crazy, but in a pragmatic sort of way. Sometimes. Kind of.

"Buckets," Richie said. "We carry shovels, bags of fishes, and buckets. Because that definitely won't get any cops following us or little old ladies freaking out."

"Filling the buckets might be tough though. We only install ponds in places with exterior faucets?"

"Sounds like a better plan than running laps around Baltimore with buckets of water for a few hours," Sparkle agreed, amused. "I mean, we could, but you know how much water it takes to fill an actual pond? We could be dumping water in that thing for days."

"Tiny ponds, man," Richie said. "Tiny ones. We can always make'em bigger later."

He grinned.

"Now, how do we scout our locations?"

"Well, not knowing our way around Baltimore, I'd have to say..." Sparkle considered this for a moment. "Google Street View."

Because it was like a troublemaker's dream come true. Case the neighbourhood from the comfort of wherever the hell you had internet access!

"That's the thing with the cars that drove around taking pictures of everything, right? Hope it gives us a good view of the alleys."

He shrugged. "Or we do a little recon."

"Hey, I have nothing against wandering around some city I know nothing about, so long as we don't get our asses arrested or something. I'm not going to get myself deported over some fish," Sparkle intoned. "You ever had to handle the kind of people who usually hang out in alleyways, anyhow?"

"No arrests, no deportations," Richie confirmed. "I think we can manage that."

"I've been staying out of alleys lately. On the straight and narrow, totally reformed, all that jazz. But I figure the shovels might come in handy if we need'em."

"I have now discovered a new respect for shovels," Sparkle decided, nodding appreciatively. "Bet if we can find some reflective orange vests we can always tell people we work for the city or something."

Because, sure, they'd totally buy that.

"We're working on urban beautification," Richie said. "I like it. Safety vests shouldn't be too hard to find, right?"

This was a terrible idea but it was becoming more attractive by the minute.

In Sparkle's case, it was becoming more attractive because it was a terrible idea.

"I bet they carry them at... like anywhere that has Halloween crap this time of year," Sparkle suggested, grinning.

"This is a totally solid plan." No, it isn't.

"Okay, so we need some shovels, vests, maybe some buckets, and fish. Probably should get those last. Although we can always feed'em to your new accessory there," he nodded at the kitten, "if they die."

"What, you think I'm going to feed some kind of diseased goldfish to Velcro?" Sparkle looked somewhere between amused and scandalized, really. "Man, the fish-breath would be the end of me. Our plans would be over before they even began. It would be tragic, you know."

"You're right, totally tragic," Richie agreed. "Can't have that. We feed Velcro here the good stuff and pass the plague-ridden fishes off on any cats that give us trouble. Sound good?"

Somehow as ridiculous as this was, Richie had come up with worse plans.

Sparkle could believe it, somehow.

"Good enough," he decided. "Ham for Velcro," because cats totally ate ham, "and those punk-assed alley cats can make do with whatever we damn well give them."

Second Floor Common Room, Saturday Evening

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