Fourth Floor Common Room; Wednesday Afternoon [11/14].

[in_sidon_we_trust]

Even though he knew it was just a silly school assignment, one that truthfully didn't have any bearing on anything of any real significance in the world, Sidon couldn't help finding himself wholly dedicated to his little robot baby for Ethics class. Perhaps it was just what happened when you were the product of a war-torn world; his memories of the Calamity were fuzzy, it was true, but there was no denying that he's lost a great deal. All of Hyrule had, and they'd spent decades just trying to rebuild. So new life was precious; every new soul made the hope for the future that much stronger. So he took it seriously, even if he knew deep down it wasn't real. It made him feel better, like he was doing something good, anyway.

Besides, he'd kind of grown a little fond of little Steelquake Hazelburp Gentletoes the Third from the moment he discovered she wouldn't potentially kill him from electrical shock. And in the last twenty four hours, she had quickly become the most spoiled robot baby probably to ever be assigned to a student at this school. He couldn't help it! He wanted to make sure her every little need was met (and not just because the wailing sound they made was really quite terrible). And it wouldn't all be a waste, either, since he planned to ask Miss Syndulla and Mr. Jarrus if they knew of any places on the mainland where he could donate all of Steelquake's things once the assignment was over, so they could then go to another child who might be in need.

He's even taken some time to study up on how humans raised their children, generally, which was a rather broad category, it turned out! But, since he was the parent here, he wanted to make sure she had a good solid Zora upbringing in their short time together, too. And that meant being reared communally, which was why they were going to be spending their time in the common room today, where could set down some blankets and pillows for Steelquake, surrounding her with many of the toys he'd picked up for her, especially the stuffed animals, especially all the ocean themed ones, the fish and the sharks and octopi and crabs, and he certainly hoped Steelquake would have a great love for stories, because stories was what she was getting, eagerly and boldly told with the sea critters dancing in front of her as they became the actors for the marvelous tales he was weaving.

And though it obviously kept her quiet and entertained, it was pretty clear which one of them was enjoying it more.

Spoiler alert: it wasn't Steelquake Hazelburp Gentletoes the Third.

[[fun fact: if you look up the word 'extra' in a Hylian dictionary, it just takes you to a big ol' picture of this guy. Open common room is open!]]

Comments

[in_sidon_we_trust]

"Temporary parent," Sidon offered by way of explanation and a smile. "It's our most recent assignment for Eth--"

And now that uncanny valley poodoo was quickly realizing that the story was stopping and decided to make it very clear that she did not approve of this change of plans.

"No, no, no!" Sidon gushed quickly, attention diving right back toward the robot and her toes before he swept back up the shark princess and danced her in a few waves in front of her. "It's alright, Steelquake, see? The princess is still here, and oh! Watch out!" He chuckled a little as the shark made a dive for the baby. "She's coming in for kisses!"

Complete with sound effects and tickling the baby's belly with his other hand, which worked like a charm.

For now.

[chirpchirpchirp]

Vette was staring at this whole scene with a mixture of something between quiet awe and utter confusion on her face. Sidon definitely seemed to be taking to the assignment, whatever it was, and she couldn't deny that he seemed to be doing a great job of it.

It was just, there was so much stuff here, for a baby who, was kind of just a glorified droid.

She took a seat not far off, picking up a stuffed octopus and looking it over in bemusement.

"Does she actually play with all of these?"

[in_sidon_we_trust]

"No," Sidon admitted a little sheepishly, though Steelquake was definitely clinging to the princess shark at the moment...and chewing on it. Which effectively kept her from yelling, at the very least. "I honestly wasn't sure what she'd like, and figured, this way, she'd have plenty to choose from and she certainly has picked out some favorites. She mostly just enjoys clinging and chewing at the moment, and watching them move around. I don't think she entirely understands the stories, either, but it's very clear she likes to listen, and she gets terribly upset when I stop."

He found it fairly fascinating himself, seeing what worked, what didn't, sticking with what did and trying to develop from it.

"Don't you," he bopped the baby lightly on her nose with his finger, "you funny little shrimp. You are a most excellent listener! Steelquake Hazelburp Gentletoes the Third! The greatest listener on the whole island!"

[chirpchirpchirp]

Vette took a few seconds to entertain herself by waggling some of the octopus tentacles around with her fingers. She grinned slightly as she looked up again.

"She's not the interrupting sort, except with the whole crying thing, huh?" She gave a soft laugh. "Or maybe she just wants to eat all the toys. Either way, you seem to have a handle on this, huh?"

[in_sidon_we_trust]

"Well," Sidon noted with a laugh, "if it is toys that she eats, she will surely be exceptionally well fed! And, yes." He took a moment to preen a little proudly right then. "I must say I do feel I've got a handle on it, yes. Granted, I've only had her for about a day now, there's still quite a bit of the week left and sleeping is still something she doesn't seem to fond of doing, but I'm certain I can crack that particular puzzle in no time. I'm excited to see how she'll take to the animals at the shelter tomorrow, too. Surely, between playing out here today and accompanying me to work tomorrow, she'll finally be worn out from all the excitement to have a more restful slumber."

...he hoped.

Not that he minded terribly, of course, but he did rather try to not be a bother to Paris, and a screaming robot baby was yet another thing on the very considerable list of Things Paris Does Not Enjoy, and he couldn't entirely blame her, either.

[chirpchirpchirp]

Eh, Paris had tried to use her as a living shield against puppies. Vette had opinions about Paris.

Mostly that her suffering was delightful.

"I mean... maybe," she said, slightly dubiously, even as she leaned in to make the octopus wave hello to the... baby. Droid. Thing. "From what I understand, sometimes babies just have a difficult time sleeping for no obvious reason at all."

[in_sidon_we_trust]

Steelquake's eyes seemed to go wide at the little waving octopus, her chewing slowed, and she was now staring at Vette as if just noticing her.

"I suppose so," Sidon said thoughtfully. "I suppose I've never really noticed with the hatchlings, they always seem to sleep quite well and often throu--"

Not the interrupting sort, eh? Steelquake's steady staring came to an end abruptly as she must have decided that princess shark wasn't all that great after all, pushing her aside and letting out an ear-piercing wail, squirming and making futile grabs at the air in Vette's direction.

[chirpchirpchirp]

Aaaand there went Vette's eyes, going wide in surprise. What? Wait? What??

"Um. Oh boy, okay, uh, here little youngling," she tried, shoving the octopus toward the little thing. "Here you go, have the weird dianoga? Please?"

How did children work?

[in_sidon_we_trust]

Rather intrigued by this unexpected turn of events, Sidon couldn't help chuckling a little, especially as the offering seemed to at least distract Steelquake long enough to get her to stop and make a little gurgling sound as she considered it. Made at tentative (and failing) reach for one of the dangling tentacles. Tried again and managed to to get it that time, and then tried to pull it closer, mouth opening in anticipation for that tentacle going straight into her mouth.

While staring at Vette the whole time, too.

Which wasn't helping Sidon with his laughing, no.

[chirpchirpchirp]

"Sidon? She's staring at me," Vette reported, a little bit bewildered, still holding that octopus out and letting Steelquake navigate it to wherever she wanted it to be. "Why is she staring at me?"

[in_sidon_we_trust]

"Because you're a new face," Sidon pointed out, and, because he couldn't help himself, he added, "and a very pretty one, at that."

He nudged Vette a little with his elbow. "Maybe she's waiting for a story."

He had been positively spoiling her with them all day, after all.

[chirpchirpchirp]

"A story?" Vette balked a little as she looked back at the baby, reasonably certain that Sidon wasn't just trying to get her to do his homework for him, probably. Not that she would blame anyone for trying. "What kind of story?"

[in_sidon_we_trust]

"Well," Sidon tilted his head thoughtfully, smiling faintly down at the still entranced, tentacle-chewing robot baby. He thought about poking her a little to see just how dedicated her attention was toward Vette, but, at the same time, he didn't want to sway things away from the direction they were going, either. Steelquake probably couldn't understand them, so the story wasn't really going to be for her, anyway. "I was about to tell her what was going to happen when the shark princess arrived to save the school of fish from the mean alligators, perhaps she simply wants to know what happens next?"

[chirpchirpchirp]

Vette had no idea what an alligator was.

None.

But that wasn't going to stop her from clearing her throat and trying her best, even while her cheeks threatened to light on fire dammit.

"Oh. Well, I mean... Of course the shark princess knew how to deal with mean alligators, she did that sort of thing all the time. She... she rounded up a gang of other sharks that she knew she could count on, because mean alligators are totally notorious for playing dirty, and... her and her gang worked out a plan that would make the mean alligators sorry for ever ganging up on small, helpless fish...?"

She looked to Sidon for some indication that maybe she wasn't messing up his story.

[in_sidon_we_trust]

Sidon met that look with an adoring grin; even if she had messed anything up (which she most certainly wasn't, even if he would admit that the details were a bit too sparse for his tastes if he had to be honest), he was simply far more pleased that she'd gone ahead and made the attempt. That meant for more than the details, and, encouraging grin delivered, he then looked over to the robot baby among all the toys, since, really, she would be the real judge.

She at least blinked a few times; that should be a good sign, right? Even if her weird robot baby brow seemed furrowed in confusion. Or probably just gas.

Sidon leaned in a little closer to Vette as he asked, "And what was this brilliant plan of hers?" He also had picked up the shark toy and handed it over for Vette. "Maybe you could have her show us?"

[chirpchirpchirp]

Vette now had a shark in one hand and an octopus in the other, and had no idea what she was doing with either.

"Well," she ventured, a little uncertainly, "she would have her shark buddies swim around to behind the alligators while she came at them from the front, pretending to play nice with them. She would negotiate with the alligators, see? They would play nice with the fishes, and the sharks would give them... something... they wanted."

...

What did alligators want?

"Candy?"

She had NO IDEA.

[in_sidon_we_trust]

As if Sidon had any clue, either, and it wasn't like Steelquake would even know what they were talking about. But he clearly thought it was a great choice, if his laugh was an indication, and the sound shifted Steelquake's attention back his way, and he beamed down at her.

"Alligators, you see," he explained to the baby, scratching her belly lightly again and getting a poorly-grasping hand around one of his fingers for the effort, "love candy." He winked at Vette to encourage her, to show her that he was playing along. "All those teeth! And each and everyone is a sweet tooth!"

Each little scratch was accompanied by a little chomping noise now, for all those alligators eating all that imagined candy.

[chirpchirpchirp]

"Every single tooth," Vette agreed, laughing softly as she waved the shark around. "So the sharks figured, if the alligators agreed to play nice in exchange for candy, that would be pretty darn great."

She paused a moment, and then grinned.

"And if they didn't, then the sharks were in the perfect position to gobble them right up!"

That shark was totally coming in toward the baby now, to poke squishily at her tummy a few times.

[in_sidon_we_trust]

And Steelquake would never not love being poked squishily by a shark, even if it was mostly just because it meant she could try to grab onto it and maybe drool on it a little.

...that shark would probably not be making it into the donation pile.

"And those sharks," said Sidon, with a rather sharklike grin of his own, "would certainly not hesitate even a moment, which I can only imagine the alligators would know! So then what happened next, Vette? Did the alligators take the deal and agree to be nice? Or did they defy common sense and decency and continue to torment the poor little fish?"

[chirpchirpchirp]

"Oh, the alligators thought they would be clever," Vette said, leaning in a bit, a playful look on her face. "They thought they could keep bothering the little fish and have their candy too, if they played their sabacc cards right. So they struck their deal with the princess fish, got their candy, and then waited for her to swim away, not realizing that the other sharks were still lurking in the shadows from behind. And then... they went to go torment the little fish again, thinking they could have the best of all of it, all to themselves."

[in_sidon_we_trust]

"And I simply cannot imagine," declared Sidon eagerly, "that this could possibly have turned out well for the alligators!"

[chirpchirpchirp]

"It totally didn't," Vette agreed, kind of getting into it, now and leaning in toward the... baby... thing. "Just as the alligators were about to step up into little fishy territory, the sharks all came from behind to gobble them right up!"

Yup, that shark was totally gobbling up some baby tummy right there, complete with a playful, "Gobblegobblegobble!" from Vette.

[in_sidon_we_trust]

And all that gobbling could only result in shrieking from the baby, but it was more than likely the delighted kind, though it might be difficult to tell the difference if one didn't have context to go along with it.

There was no question about the amusement in Sidon's laugh, though. "And therein is a most important lesson, Steelquake," he offered, mostly just so he didn't just sit there, beaming at Vette like the adoring fool that she turned him into. "One must be true to their word, lest they be deservedly eaten by righteous sharks of justice!"

[chirpchirpchirp]

"And then they'll keep your candy," Vette added, grinning a little bit in spite of her awkwardness. "As dessert."

Sneaky sneaky sharks.

[in_sidon_we_trust]

"That was an excellent story, Vette," Sidon informed her proudly. "A very fitting and thrilling conclusion to the tale I had built up so far. I knew you could do it!"