Halls of the Dorm, Saturday Morning

[napking]

Sure, it was Saturday, but that didn't mean Flash didn't have work to do at the Department of Mammal Vehicles! He'd gotten up bright and early in order to really hit the ground running, and now, a few hours later, he was well on his way to work!

At this rate of lightning speed, he might make it to the front door of the dorm by noon.

(Open post is open!)

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[what_big_teeth]

"Whoa, dude," said Chad, on his way out as well and stopped in his tracks when he saw someone else making its way down the hall, too. "Did someone lose a dog?"

[napking]

Flash sloooooooooowly looked around for a dog, then his face sloooooooooowly transformed into delighted laughter. "Ha...ha...ha! That's...funny. I'm...not...a...dog! I'm...a...sloth." Obviously.

[what_big_teeth]

You couldn't tell with those sick, sweet shades of his, but Chad's eyes widened and his jaw dropped a little.

"Oh, nooooooo," he said. "Did I do so many Red Bulls that I slowed down time and made dogs able to talk again?? Aww, man, that would explain, like, so much right now!"

[napking]

Flash could empathize, Chad. He'd had a wild night or two with a red bull, himself. "How...could...you...make...dogs...talk...when...dogs...can...already...talk?"

If Chad had wandered off before Flash finished his confused question, well, wouldn't be the first time that had happened to him.

[what_big_teeth]

On the contrary, Chad was locked in, practically hanging on every word. This was thrilling, bruh! Like....what was he going to say next? If he was sitting on a seat, he'd be on the edge of it, and he'd even managed to predict a few of those before they came out!

There was a big, long pause afterwards as he waited to see if the dog was done, and, when it was clear that he was, he just sort of shrugged and shook his head.

"I don't know how, man," he said. "It just happens! Hey, so, since you can talk and all, I can just ask you. Did you see any hotties come through here? 'Cuz I'm pretty sure I hooked up with a chick last night, but she'd left before I woke up! Maybe she went to go get us coffee or something? That'd be sick, bro! But I was still hoping I could catch her if she hadn't left yet!"

[napking]

A chick? Like a bird? Not that Flash had anything against mammal/bird relations, but gosh, those were even rarer than predator/prey couples! His eyes widened dramatically and then went back to normal, very quickly for him but very slowly for the observer. "No," he said. "I...haven't...seen...any...birds...this...morning. Just...a...squirrel...earlier. I...think...it...was...a...journalist." You know, a normal thing for a squirrel to be.

[what_big_teeth]

Well, British dudes called chicks birds, didn't they? So now Chad just figured Slow-Bro over here was owned by some English bloke.

"What?" he asked. "No way! A squirrels got a job here? That's tight, bro. Especially in this economy, you know? Good for them."

[napking]

"Ha...ha...ha..." Flash laughed. "Why...wouldn't...the...squirrels...have...jobs?" Good savers, squirrels. Always hoarding their nuts for winter. "Silly..." Wait. No, seriously, wait, Flash had to think this through. "...Ape?"