Second floor common room, all Friday afternoon

[ihatedenmark.livejournal.com]

The kitchenette counters in the common room were covered in all sorts of unusual things this afternoon: bowls, spoons, cheese graters, half a lobster, bits of lego. A cheery tuneless song with lyrics written entirely in gibberish came from behind the counter as someone rummaged through the fridge. Finally, the door shut, and a slightly deranged looking Hamlet stood up, wearing a quickly assembled version of the Swedish Chef's outfit.

As he continued singing and rummaging through the cupboards for things, he stood up a large sign against the counter:




Brunch cooked while you wait!
The chef will try his best to cook whatever you want!
Børk! Børk! Børk!


Moral of the day: don't eat strange cupcakes that are lying out in the open. They do weird things to your head.


[OOC: So very open.]

Comments

[swerval_zero]

"I thought you were Danish," Zero said.

[ihatedenmark.livejournal.com]

"I em Duneesh," he said, pointing to his sign. "Sveedeesh duesn't hefe-a Øs in zeeur elphebet. Børk Børk Børk!"

[swerval_zero]

"O-okay," Zero managed. "So, you're cooking?"

[ihatedenmark.livejournal.com]

"Yes I em! Vuoold yuoo leeke-a me-a tu cuuk yuoo sumetheeng? Bork Bork Bork!" He smiled eagerly in a way that would make normal Hamlet sick.

[swerval_zero]

Too bad Zero didn't stand a prayer of finding her camcorder in the disaster area of her room. "How 'bout an omelet?"

[ihatedenmark.livejournal.com]

"Yuoo gut it!" said the Danish Chef.

Rummaging through the fridge, he pulled out four chicken eggs, an ostrich egg, a block of cheese, a cheese grater shaped like a cat, and a comically oversized whisk.

"Hoo muny iggs vuoold yuoo leeke-a? Bork Bork Bork!"

[swerval_zero]

Where the squall had the ostrich egg come from? "Um, how about two of the small ones, please?"

[ihatedenmark.livejournal.com]

Why, it came from the magic of Muppet weirdness, of course!

"Okee-dokee!"

The Danish Chef broke two of the chicken eggs, and dumped them shells and all into the bowl. He started singing to himself in non-sensical Muppet Swedish as he whisked them up.

[swerval_zero]

Zero looked horrified. "On second thought, maybe just some toast?"

[ihatedenmark.livejournal.com]

The Danish Chef sighed."Peecky peecky."

Reaching back under the desk, he pulled out a bag of Wonder Bread and a very large zippo lighter.

"Hoo vell dune-a du yuoo leeke-a yuoor tuest? Bork Bork Bork!"

[swerval_zero]

"Very rare," Zero told him. "Very rare indeed."

[ihatedenmark.livejournal.com]

The Danish chef nodded, stabbed a piece of toast on a turkey carving fork, and proceeded to cook the bread over the flame of the lighter.

[swerval_zero]

Zero looked frantically around the room for a fire extinguisher in case they needed it.

[ihatedenmark.livejournal.com]

The Danish Chef ignored Zero's panicked look, and sang a little nonsense song to himself as he cooked the toast over the open flame.

"Yorn desh born, der ritt de gitt der gue, Orn desh, dee born desh, de umn børk! børk! børk!"