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near the main campfire - tuesday afternoon

He lay in the grass, mostly because he could. It was a little damp since the day seemed to flutter between beautiful and damp, but he didn't much mind. He didn't catch colds too easily (perhaps the one dip in the well had been enough) and water didn't have any kind of adverse effect on him...

And it was nice out. Soothing. Almost as much as the church, it would let him think.

[open!][flying portion NFB for distance from the ground]

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"No, you're fine."

He smiled at her as they lifted another few feet.

"Oh gosh," she said and stared straight again. Looking down at the ground wasn't working so much anymore.

Amber let go of the handle and went to hold over his. She didn't want to be in control, especially when she knew nothing about this flying stuff, at all.

She also wiggled slightly, locking her ankles beneath her.

"Okay, I'm ready for you to go higher."

He shifted just a little to try and put his arms around her some, make sure she felt secure.

"All right," he said quietly before lifting them very slowly a little higher. They were about a story up now.

"Just let me know if you want to go back down and we will."

Amber welcomed his arms, most definitely, and she looked around, not down, just around. It was such an odd feeling being in the air like this.

"How high do you usually go?"

"High. Up by the clouds or the birds. And low, down by the water. It depends. I don't really notice the height.

"It's all flying."

She tilted her head back, looking up, then turned slightly so she could look at him, which was a little hard to do given their position of being so close. "I would like to go up there, in the clouds," she nearly whispered, feeling a quick thrill at the idea.

Everything lately for her was about taking chances. This was certainly one of them.

"All right," he told her, just as quiet. He secured his arms around her, made sure they both had a firm grip on the broom handle.

Then he pulled it towards the sky and flew.

Amber felt her stomach fall, felt the rush of wind through her hair, and leaned back against Liir. The excitement passing through her was unlike anything she'd ever felt before and before she realized it, she was laughing.

"That's it!" he told her with a laugh of his own.

There it was. Flying. Everything fantastic in the world in the rush of air past you and the feel of the world so far away but spread out before you, all yours.

He loved it. He loved it like nothing else. And getting to show it to someone else was one of the best things in this or any world.

"This is more wonderful than I ever expected," she told him, feeling free, even though she clutched at his hands.

"I could stay up here forever."

"I've felt much the same way," he admitted as they evened out a little.

"I feel more... complete up here. More solid. And oddly enough, more free. It's wonderful."

"The freedom is what I like, like nothin' else matters. At all..."

Amber grew quiet then, simply content to feel, but after awhile she asked him, "Liir? Can I ask you a personal question?"

He nodded before realizing he was behind her.

"Certainly."

She was glad he couldn't see her. "Do you feel affection for girls, the same way you do for boys?"

He didn't quite understand why she was asking, but he knew enough to figure she wasn't just asking about affection as much as attraction.

"If I care about someone, I care about them. Gender is, well, it's secondary. And if there's supposed to be some sort of divider that says one kind of person is someone I'm supposed to be attracted to and this kind isn't, I don't have one. There's nothing more wonderful than feeling that someone cares about me. That's the most important part. At least for me. It's different for everyone."

He considered why she might be curious.

"Having trouble figuring out something like that?"

He asked very carefully since he knew how hard it could be not to know, to feel like you're weird and don't know things you should.

Well, yes, both most certainly.

His answer completely appeased her and actually made her feel good. Why she asked was simply because she was curious and wanted to know how he felt.

"No, not trouble, no. I mean, I suppose it would be different if I was close enough to someone, and don't get me wrong, our friendship means everythin' to me. But... I guess I do have this divider but not in the way you mean. I'll use you for an example and sincerely hope you understand me: I think it would be easy for anyone to fall for you, me included, but I know that you have a boyfriend so I close myself up to a certain degree and will only allow myself to feel so much. Does that make sense? I think I would be that way with anyone who was attached to someone else. It's... proper."

Again she was quiet for a moment.

"Honestly? I don't think I'm thought of in an attractive fashion. I never really have. By girl or boy. I'm just... a friend. If I care about someone, I care about them. Just like you."

...it was a very very good thing that he had the kind of control he had because earlier in the year, he would have startled himself right off the broom. Instead he only stiffened a touch in surprise.

"Oh."

Like a sinking battleship, the various points of view in his head were scrambling around telling him different things, informing him of different priorities; he'd never been good with surprises. It probably had something to do with the fact that he was his own personal committee.

"That makes sense. And I'm... well, I never do understand what anyone might see in me, but I suppose I'm flattered. I'm glad I mean something to you."

The last was the most solid thing he'd said. He liked Amber.

"But you're very pretty, Amber. And more importantly, you're sweet. You genuinely... you care. You're good to be around."

He didn't know how to explain that. But something else sort of slung itself around the corners of his mind and popped right out of his mouth.

"Would it change, then? If Andrew decided to end things?"

Curious. The way you'd ask someone how a mechanism worked or why the sun rose in the morning. Liir didn't really understand how people worked, to be honest, so he asked when he could. Hopefully, someday, he'd actually understand himself.

Oh. That 'oh' from him didn't sound... well it worried her a little. Amber was so very thankful he couldn't see her, and she thought she could feel him tense behind her. Leave it to her to ramble on when really she should just keep her mouth shut. She blamed her ma entirely for this genetic misfortune.

Face hot, she stared down at his her hands on his. "Thank you, Liir, but I wasn't fishin' for compliments. More I was just statin' what was, though you have flattered me, greatly, and I feel good because of it."

Ah. And how did she answer his question without making him feel any less awkward than he no doubt already felt?

"I... I wouldn't jeopardize our friendship, Liir, or influence you any by my personal feelin's," she said finally, very quietly.

"I didn't think you were," he said quietly, figuring out he'd said the wrong thing, asked the wrong question. Wrong.

"But it sounded as if you had to hear it.

"And I didn't think you'd jeopardize anything. I just wanted to know. That's all."

He wanted to tell her. He wanted to explain. He didn't know if he could or if it would ever make sense to anyone else even if he did. But he knew he'd done wrong and he wanted to fix it.

"I'm terrible at taking compliments," he said slowly. "But maybe if you don't mind me being a bit slow, I'll know what to say back one day that won't make you unhappy."

She did; Amber didn't hear things like that often enough and no, they weren't something she had to hear either, it was just nice to feel something every so often.

She smiled and knew he couldn't see, but maybe he could hear it in her tone. "Well. Now you know. Curious, just like me?"

Again she grew quiet, especially after what he just said. It was... why did he think he made her unhappy? Amber turned her head again to peer back at him, stared at him closely, her brows knitted gently in confusion. "Why would you think you made me unhappy?"

Edited 2008-05-28 00:29 (UTC)

One arm adjusted to make sure she was stable on the broom. He did seem to have the most surreal conversations while several stories up in the air.

"You seemed unnerved by something I said just now. Or something I did. I... didn't really learn how to deal with people growing up, so generally I'm guessing when I have to handle something new someone says or does. It's not as if there's anything up here but me and you, so I assumed it was me."

There was a brief smile.

"I'm happy to foist the blame to you, if you like, but I didn't figure that was very gentlemanly."

"Oh," she blinked. Then it dawned on her. "I felt you tense and I wondered if what I said bothered you. Did it? Like you said, it's just you and me up here, you can be honest with me..."

"It doesn't bother me. I just don't understand it. And I try not to mention that unless I have to since it seems to... well, upset people. I appreciate it, and I'm glad you feel that way, but I don't really understand."

"There's not much to me just yet. So I don't see what's so appealing."

Amber smiled at him before she faced front again. She should feel thankful that he didn't understand it, but it bothered her... just a bit.

"You haven't upset me. I was afraid I upset you."

She sighed, closed her eyes. "You're an amazin' person, Liir. I've never met anyone like you before. You're kind, gentle, and you've a carin' nature that is very attractive. And..." she grinned more to herself because he couldn't see and because she felt embolded, however slight, to add, "you are very handsome."

You're insane.

It wouldn't go over well. He knew that well enough.

He blushed instead, and she could probably feel the warmth of his face. Well, it felt like she should. Perhaps she could.

"Oh. Um, thank you."

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