Third Floor Common Room, Wednesday Afternoon

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

It had taken a few moments to figure out the DVD player, but Merlin did as he was told and just pushed buttons until it worked. It was a surprisingly good method.

He sat back, ready to watch this porno thing that Emmett had said would be interesting.

And in the first five minutes, he couldn't quite understand the draw of this sort of entertainment. It was only like Morgana and Gwen in the fact that they looked vaguely similar. The way they talked and the room they were in certainly didn't look like any castle he'd ever seen. And, really, those dresses were just terribly impractical for a lady or a servant. They must be terribly cold--

Merlin's eyes went very big as the dress issue was solved and they ladies started kissing. The only sound he made was the verbal equivalent of a keysmash.

[[Open like a common room where a wizard is being scarred for life is!]]

Comments

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

Merlin stared, mouth open and flapping like a dying fish.

[notqueenyet.livejournal.com]

"Why are you watching this?" she asked, to deflect. "I mean, still. If it offends you so."

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

Merlin made a face. "I can't figure out how to turn it off."

It had gotten louder and slower instead!

[notqueenyet.livejournal.com]

"I don't know either, or I'd help you," she said apologetically, her shock having worn off. She wandered over to take a seat. "You know, I don't think this is terribly realistic."

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

Merlin looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "Really? They look very... real. To me."

[notqueenyet.livejournal.com]

"That one's breasts aren't moving properly," she noted, pointing.

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

Merlin followed the pointing, tilting his head in confusion. "It's not?"

[notqueenyet.livejournal.com]

"They're practically stationary. No woman's breasts actually do that," Aravis assured him confidently. "Now, I'm not sure how she's doing it, mind."

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

"Magic?" Merlin suggested.

[notqueenyet.livejournal.com]

"I'd learn magic if it could do that," Aravis remarked, tilting her head. "That's...creative."

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

Merlin couldn't help but laugh there. "Why would you want to look like that?"

[notqueenyet.livejournal.com]

"It might be unnatural, but look how perky they are! She's very voluptuous," Aravis pointed out.

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

"I don't think you need to worry about that."

He'd realize what he said in a bit.

[notqueenyet.livejournal.com]

Aravis arched a brow. "...I don't?"

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

"You're much more attractive than those women," Merlin said, nodding without getting it.

[notqueenyet.livejournal.com]

"You think so?" Aravis blushed. "But I'm not...doing that."

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

Merlin blinked, looking from her to the television. "What, that? I should hope not! That doesn't look comfortable."

[notqueenyet.livejournal.com]

"It's not," she said, casting a look at the television. "But I didn't mean that specifically! I meant the whole...being naked and generously-bosomed...thing."

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

"Oh!" Merlin gave her a serious look there. "You're still more attractive, I think."

A beat.

"Not that I'm thinking about you naked or generously-bosomed!"

[notqueenyet.livejournal.com]

Aravis laughed. "Why should you? There's...two examples of a generously-bosomed naked woman right there." She gestured, then tilted her head sharply to the side. "Hm. I've never seen one of those.

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

Nor had Merlin. But then, that wasn't saying much. "...what is it?"

[notqueenyet.livejournal.com]

"Why is it making that noise?" Aravis asked, now alarmed.

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

Merlin was about to ask why it was purple, but that about took any questions to that effect away.

"...where is she putting tha--Oh god!"

[notqueenyet.livejournal.com]

Aravis no longer had words.

Considering she thought that looked...painful, and all.

[bigdamndestiny.livejournal.com]

"She sounds like she's in pain!" Merlin said, looking around if anyone else noticed this as Aravis was catatonic.