fandomhighdorms | Behind the Dorms, Tuesday Afternoon

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Behind the Dorms, Tuesday Afternoon

"Today," Arthur announced, looking fit and rested after his first night in a room that did not have an annoying desert noble in it. "We will be talking about the kind of inconveniences that Fandom likes to drop on us from the skies. Sure, poptarts or syrup may seem like a novelty, but when we're dealing with it in a combat situation it suddenly takes on an entirely new angle. Because of that, we are going to spend this week coming up with potential items of rain, and how to deal with them."

He was not going to allow any laughter in his reserves, and his expression made it clear that this was not funny. No, not even to you, newbies.

Zack was not going to giggle. He wasn't. He was going to plaster the most solemn look ever onto his face and he was going to nod. Solemnly.

"We saw the syrup on Friday," he noted, crossing his arms over his chest, because it was easier to pretend that he wasn't about to start giggling like an idiot if he looked at least remotely professional on the outside. "Which was inconvenient enough on Friday. Can you imagine what it would have been like, trying to slog through that mess with a bunch of vampires or griffons or malboros bearing down on top of you? It'd gum up your weapons, get in your eyes. We'd be dead meat." A pause. "And extra tasty."

That was helpful, Zack. Thank you.

... Zack, Arthur was trying to be serious. Please don't make him laugh.

Which he was making an effortless show of not doing, thank you. "Those of you who've been here long," he said, "Should share what you know about what rains from the sky. There are things we should be able to stock up on in case an invasion coincides with one of these things, such as glasses when the rain is-- glittery." Not. Laughing. "There are also ways we should be able to use these effects against our enemy. Had the harpies attacked during the syrup rain, it may have slowed their flight considerably, offering us new chances to attack."

"Or like the rain of condoms over in that other--" Zack clapped his hands over his mouth, wide-eyed and blushing. And then he fell into a fit of giggles the like the world had never before seen. There was a moment of that, and then he moved one hand away from his mouth, waving it vaguely in the direction of the other people around them. They could start any time now!

Helpfully, Arthur reached over to give Zack a thwap over the back of his head. "Get talking," he informed the crowd with a restrained smile.

[OCD ~~on the way!~~ up, and it helps if I note that fact, self.]

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"Okay, ew." Zack was easily derailed. So sue him. "Little living snow animals, and they fell just to melt? Fandom is mean sometimes, isn't it?"

... He really, really wanted to see this, now. Ssh.

"At least there's no blood or guts to clean up?" she offered, shrugging. "They just turn into water. I guess it's a bit mean, but it's not like it's our fault."

Ino killing a few of them, just to see what'd happen though was her fault.

"Fair enough," Zack settled on, though his expression was still in the realm of 'generally weirded out.' "If they didn't want to melt, I guess they wouldn't be falling from the sky in the first place."

Or something.

"Totally," she said, laughing. That made about as much sense as anything else, really. "They were cute while they lasted though, but yeah, other than a few moments of 'um, what' they wouldn't help much or hinder much in a fight."

...unless the giraffes were raining really heavily...

"Yeah, they'd just kind of be... squirmy snow. Still snow, though."

Weeeeeeird.

"Is there anything else that's rained that I might not know about?"

Uh.

"...I don't think so?" she said, a bit dubiously. "I don't think we've had that many weird rain days..."

"Oh." A beat. "Just a bunch of weird other-stuff days."

That was good enough for Zack!

"The flowers the other day were kinda neat," he attempted. Not that they had anything to do with anything. But they were kind of related, tangentially. By way of being weirdness.

"You would," she teased, "considering it was flowers everywhere for everyone."

"We don't see them in Midgar! Like, ever!" There was bouncing, now. "We used to all of the time back home in Gongaga, though. I mean, right in the middle of a rainforest, and all. That kinda happens!"

Dooork.

"Rainforests would have flowers, yeah," she said, grinning at him. "It's got to be a bit weird going from that to Midgar though, right?"

"It was a bit jarring, at first," Zack admitted, nodding slightly. "The buildings in Gongaga, you're lucky to find one with more than one room in it, really. We're talking small, small town. Except for the Mako reactor, of course."

"Of course," she said, nodding. "'Cause those are super important, yeah? It's kind weird though--don't potted plants and stuff work in Midgar? Like, if you say, brought a flower from Gongaga all planted and stuff already, would it just--not keep living?"

"It might, for a while," Zack replied, shrugging. "I guess, if it stayed in the pot or something. But there's next to no sun in Midgar, too."

A pause.

"Okay, there's no sun in Midgar. That makes it difficult to make plants grow."

"I know that," she reminded him. "But--sun lamps and stuff, I guess. There's always the chance of those, right?"

"I guess so," Zack nodded a little. "The ShinRa building has plants in it. Little trees here and there, you know? To liven things up a little. But outside of ShinRa? Stuff like that costs money. Even for the people who live above the plate, the cost of living in the city is pretty high. Plants and sun lamps, things like that? They're luxury items."

"Weird," she said, and looked sheepish. "I'm spoilt, I guess, living in the middle of a forest."

And, you know, working in a flowershop.

"Nah, it is weird," Zack agreed. "Like I said, Gongaga's all rainforest. I'd spend way too much time in the bushes, getting attacked by frogs."

Let's let that statement sink in for a moment, shall we?

...

...just a moment, yes.

"I'm guessing you aren't talking 'bout weetiny normal frogs," she said, after a bit. "'Cause, seriously, if you are? I'm so so laughing at you."

"Well," Zack held his hands about a half-foot apart. "They're about this tall. They stand on their hind legs and if they hit you? You turn into a frog, too."

A beat.

"It sorta sucks."

...

...

Ino was just going to crack up laughing, yes.

Zack, meanwhile, was going to stand there with his bottom lip sticking out in a pout.

"I'm serious!"

That was hardly going to help with the laughter problem.

Hardly.

"I know!" she answered, still giggling. "But--you turned into a frog! On a fairly frequent basis!"

Zack crossed his arms and continued pouting.

"There are accessories to prevent that," he replied. "It'd kinda be dumb to wander around the woods of Gongaga without a white cape on."

He was not denying that he'd been a frog. On a fairly frequent basis. No.

"Then why'd you do it?" she asked pertly. "And, like, what--they allergic to white or something?"

"They're magic accessories," Zack replied, rolling his eyes as though anyone should have known that. It was common knowledge! True facts! Still, he was smiling pleasantly anyhow. "And I did it because it was more interesting that way. Though you can't really do much but punch people with your little froggy fists, that way."

Zack was going to ball his hands into fists and punch at the air to demonstrate, yes.

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