The Gym: Wednesday Afternoon

[buzzkillcaptain.livejournal.com]

Dipper decided today to do something healthy. Like work out with the weight machine to try to perform a bench press.

It wasn't working well. He could barely push the bar up.

If one listen closely, they could hear him mutter "Stupid. Noodle. Arms."

Hopefully no one else would be around to witness his humiliation.

Comments

[dwarvenswagger]

"Have you attempted to return home yet?"

[buzzkillcaptain.livejournal.com]

"Well, I walked across the bridge with no luck. And so far I haven't found a giant hole I'd like to jump into yet so.... Yeah. What about you? Did you mean to come here?"

[dwarvenswagger]

"I did not," Thorin replied. "And my attempts to return home have been met with similar results."

[buzzkillcaptain.livejournal.com]

Dipper's eyes widened in excitement. "Wait! You too?!"

He dashed over and grabbed his notebook from his backpack and a pen.

"Tell me everything! Did you fall down a hole? Was there a portal? I bet there was a portal."

[dwarvenswagger]

"A... portal? I walked through a copse and suddenly found myself here."

[buzzkillcaptain.livejournal.com]

Excuse, Dipper, Thorin. He's just scribbling down every word you say.

"Copse. Found himself here. Right. Did you experience any disorientation or boom. You were here. That's it? I'm guessing the school also knew you were coming?"

[dwarvenswagger]

"Nothing beyond not seeing my home once I cleared the trees." Which was a big ol' mountain. "And yes, there were already classes in place."

[buzzkillcaptain.livejournal.com]

"I see, I see," Dipper said chewing on the tip of his pen thoughtfully. "And I take it this world is nothing like your own?"

[dwarvenswagger]

"That is safe to say."

[buzzkillcaptain.livejournal.com]

"Can you tell me a little bit about it?" Dipper asked politely. "I'm trying to document everything I can about this island and knowing where you came from might help a little bit. Do you guys have magic there?"

He was going to ask about advanced technology but judging by Thorin's outfit that might be a non-starter.

[dwarvenswagger]

"Magic still lives where I am from. Though I have yet to meet one of the wizards that inhabit the lands."

And then he'd wish he hadn't. Damn it, Gandalf.

[buzzkillcaptain.livejournal.com]

"Oooo. Interesting!" Dipper exclaimed as he scribbled down more of what Thorin said. "Now are you able to do magic? Are there any creatures or magical races that live in your realm? What is your realm called?"

[dwarvenswagger]

What a very odd question to ask.

"We call it Middle-earth." For some reason that e really needed to be lower case. Ask Tolkien why. Pretentious little man that he was. "And I suppose you could say that. I've heard of walking trees, but I doubt the validity of the historical claims."

Poor, poor Ents.

[buzzkillcaptain.livejournal.com]

"Walking trees! So cool!" Dipper exclaimed as he continued to write down everything Thorin said. "I've never run into walking trees before. Dinosaurs, sure but not walking trees."

[dwarvenswagger]

"What are dinosaurs?" Thorin was forced to ask.

[buzzkillcaptain.livejournal.com]

"Think of a giant lizard, some of them as big as a building and you'd have a rough idea," Dipper explained. "I still have a tooth from a run-in I had with one two years ago."

[dwarvenswagger]

"...a dragon." What you described there was a dragon, Dipper.

[buzzkillcaptain.livejournal.com]

No. It's a dinosaur. They don't breathe fire, Thorin.

Unless it's a Dino-bot but we're not dealing with cartoons here.

Okay, Dipper is a cartoon but that's another debate.

"Well, these don't breathe any fire or stuff like that," Dipper explained even though the narrative had already done that. "They were pretty much animalistic creatures without any intelligence. And are you saying you have dragons? Really?"

[dwarvenswagger]

Thorin was a cartoon once, but that was possibly animated while on acid. So.

"Ah. No, dragons have a cruelty to their intelligence from what I have been told."

[buzzkillcaptain.livejournal.com]

"That is so cool!" Dipper exclaimed excitingly before realizing his reaction wasn't really appropriate. "Um. That is if you haven't had to deal with one, I guess."

[dwarvenswagger]

"Indeed," Thorin replied dryly. "They say the largest of their ilk had a wingspan that rivaled a mountain."

Because Tolkien had no concept of scale.