Fandom High Dormitories

Done with classes for the week, Dor had slept in late and skipped breakfast entirely and missing lunch to boot.

So he found himself down at the common room with a large bowl of cereal where he sat and chatted with the furniture.

"Boy," he said with his mouth partially full of chocolate frosted sugar bombs. "People were sure cranky about the fire alarm last night."

The objects in the room all chuckled. "Well everyone's a bit more frustrated than usual these days," the chair mentioned and all the objects burst into laughter.

"Oh?" Dor asked innocently. "Why is that?"

"Because everyone is a little... frustrated. If you know what I mean," the lamp replied.

"Um. No," Dor said. "I don't. What do you mean?"

All the objects paused in the room and then died of laughter.

"What's so funny?" Dor asked.

"Nobody is getting any action," the sofa replied. "Do you know what I mean by that?"

Dor frowned. "No. What are you talking about?"

And the sofa began to tell a story. A story about a vampire and a girl in black leather pants. And the sofa's role in this particular story. And the actions that happened on said sofa.

In graphic detail

Dor should have left the room. He should have run. But the words just kept coming from the sofa and he just stared horrified as his innocence began to disappear in a few moments of Vampire/Alien raunchiness.

It didn't help that the other objects in the room started making rauchy sounds while the refrigerator hummed a porn soundtrack.

[Open! The couch is telling the NSFW story linked above from the way early days of FH. Dor's magic allows anyone to hear the story and all the sound effects the furniture are making.]

Dor wasn't sure what the big deal was about the big football game. After all they had football back in Xanth but they were just balls of feet that rolled around the jungle making footpaths for the populace to use.

So he decided to skip the whole gathering and settle down in the common room and see what was on TV.

It was then that he stumbled across the Puppy Bowl and somehow became hypnotized by the images of puppies frolicking around and playing with each other.

[Because... well it's what I watch instead of the Super Bowl. Because it's Puppies. Yes, I am a dork.]

Dor was a bit bored and had wandered into the common room in the hopes of free food and something good on that television thing.

Unfortunately free food was lacking however the television was able to direct him to a show called "Mythbusters" which was doing experiments with something called "Diet Coke" and "Mentos"

Dor sat on the couch captivated by the bottles which spewed up like geysers and the attempts of the people on the show to build a rocket.

Great magic indeed.

[Open!]

Dor ran after the flying objects, trying to keep up as best he could until he saw the tiny things dive into the ground next to what appeared to be a garden.

Then there was a popping noise followed by what Dor thought was Irene's voice shouting "GROW!"

Dor's thought was confirmed when trees and plants sprung from the ground and rapidly began to grow into full bloom. Irene must have bribed Good Magician Humfrey with something for him to bottle up her talent like that. Then again if Humfrey could put lightning in a bottle, a magical talent shouldn't be too hard to manage.

Dor immediately recongized the shoe tree and the clothes tree as the began to sprout various forms of footwear, shirts, skirts and pants. They weren't exactly what he was used to seeing but maybe since the plants took root so close to Mundania they took on some of their more recent fashions. Then there was a flannel tree also growing clothes, coats and blankets for colder weather followed by a nice fluffy pillow bush.

The next tree Dor couldn't figure out at all. Every time he looked at the trunk it seemed different and the shape would lead him to think something else and...

"Oh!" Dor said aloud and shook his head in amusement. It was a mys-tree. No one could ever figure out those things.

Dor walked around to the other side of the row of trees to find a milkweed plant with some of its pod all ready to picked for fresh milk. Next to that was a cocoa-nut tree (whose cocoa-nuts were filled with chocolate milk) a pie tree with almost every kind of pie variety you could think of and finally a...

"Cherry tree?" Dor said looking amazed. "That could be dangerous! Why would Irene send such a tree?"

Upon closer inspection Dor sighed in relief. It was only a chocolate cherry tree whose fruit had a delicious chocolate center. That was a good thing as the other variety, the cherry bomb, could have hurt someone!

Dor then picked a nice fluffy pillow, a ripe milk pod and some chocolate cherries before leaning up against the mys-tree to watch as the plants reach full maturity.

Suddenly Xanth didn't seem so far away.

[Open! Yes these are permanent additions to the garden from behind the stable and are free for people to use.]